AITAH for Not Letting My Brother Live with Me After He Exploded His Life?
Ah, siblings. Can’t live with them, can’t banish them to a deserted island without facing parental wrath. Today’s gossip-fueled tale comes directly from the virtual water cooler of Reddit: a young woman’s moral dilemma over hosting her philandering brother after his epic personal implosion. Oh, the drama! Buckle up, my fabulous readers, because this one’s juicier than a daytime soap.
The Backstory
Once upon a time, in a city rife with family drama, there lived a 36-year-old f***boi—let’s call him Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants—who had, predictably, cheated on every woman he graced with his dubious charms. Our protagonist, his 26-year-old sister
(let’s call her Stellar Sis), was living in blissful cohabitation with her boyfriend in a cozy one-bedroom apartment. Now, it’s worth noting that infidelity runs in the family (thank you, secret family-founding father), making it a particularly spicy hot button for Stellar Sis.
The Plot Thickens
Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants seemed to have finally hung up his player hat and settled down, having bought a house with his fiancée, M. Cue the collective parental sigh of relief. But of course, disaster soon strikes because, duh, this is Reddit.
Turns out, Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants had been, well, keeping it in someone else’s pants. All while gaslighting his fiancée (no, M’s not my fiancée, she’s just my cousin I live with—say what now?). Not just any drama, mind you, but multimedia drama. Sexting selfies and all.
The Fallout
Understandably, M showed him the door faster than you can say “soap opera.” Homeless and desperate, Mr. C-K-I-I-H-P asked Stellar Sis if he could bunk with her. In their already cramped one-bedroom abode. With her boyfriend. Who, let’s be honest, probably didn’t sign up for this dumpster fire of a family reunion.
The Big Decision
Stellar Sis’s immediate reaction was a solid NOPE, but oh, guilt. It works in mysterious ways, especially in families fueled by judgmental elders. She thought it over, but then consulted her boyfriend—i.e., the other person paying rent.
Boyfriend, a beacon of rationality, was like, “Hard pass.” Too small a space, too big a problem, and, let’s face it, he didn’t harbor warm fuzzy feelings towards Brother Dearest. Fair enough. So Stellar Sis called Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants to deliver the refusal, which he ostensibly accepted like an adult…
The Mother of All Guilt Trips
Enter the Judgmental Mother, who swooped in 30 minutes post-refusal like an avenger of familial disappointment. How dare Stellar Sis choose her partner over her very own brother? For shame! This castigating call was so intense it inspired Stellar Sis to chuck her phone in rage.
The Peer Pressure
Feeling the familial squeeze, Stellar Sis was starting to question herself. Ah, the joys of family-induced guilt trips. You’re the scoundrel for saying no, they say, conveniently overlooking the fact that her brother is the one who dug himself into this mess.
Roger’s Sassy Two Cents
Now, by this point, I hope you’re comfortably munching on some popcorn because what a ride! Here’s Roger’s take: Stellar Sis, you darling gem, you are absolutely NOT the asshole. Here’s why:
You and your boyfriend are not running a halfway house for morally challenged family members. It was not just your decision but a shared one. One-bedroom apartments are not designed for catastrophic life overhauls, neither spatially nor emotionally.
Your Space, Your Sanity
Boundaries, my dear readers, are essential for a reason. Just because your brother’s love life is a trainwreck doesn’t mean you have to be his emotional crash pad. Everyone gets to grow up and face the music sometime, even Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants.
Boyfriend Deserves a Medal
Major props to the boyfriend for sticking to his guns and not getting bullied into a sitcom nightmare. It’s high time Mr. C-K-I-I-H-P fishes in the sea of friends and relatives who might still have a modicum of patience left for his shenanigans. Boundaries are essential, and kudos to you for respecting them.
In summary, Stellar Sis is not just NTA; she’s a damn hero for standing her ground and keeping her space sacred. I’d suggest she invest in a sturdy phone case for future guilt-induced tossing. And to the rest of the family? Maybe let Mr. Can’t-Keep-It-In-His-Pants flop on your couch if you’re so invested in his comfort. There’s enough familial bandwidth for everyone to chip in (but preferably not in my one-bedroom, thank you very much!).
Until next time, stay sassy, stay witty, and for heaven’s sake, lock your doors.
Original story
My brother (36) is a F***boi – he has cheated on every woman he has ever been with. My father had a second secret family and cheated countless times.
So it is a hot topic for me (26 F).
I was living with my boyfriend at the time in a 1 bedroom apartment. My brother is engaged and bought a house with M.
We all think he is finally settling down and growing up until the entire family, friends, cousins etc get multiple FB messages from a woman saying that she is also in a relationship with my brother and they are in love. But he has been lying to her saying that M is his cousin and they just live together.
That he and the other woman have been planning a life together. That is a dispassionate synopsis of the situation as sex pics were included – so it was dramatic!
M, rightly in my opinion has none of this and throws him out of the house. He is now homeless – we live in the same city (however, so do other relatives, and many of his friends and he has a well-paid job).
My brother asks me if he can come live with me and my boyfriend in our 1 bed flat. My instant feeling is NO, but also my family is mostly guilt-based and judgemental so I felt it was my obligation to.
But my feelings aside, I am not the only one who lives there, this is also my partner’s house and he gets an equal say. He said, no way, the house is too small, and he does not want to condone my brother’s actions, nor does he like him very much.
This put me in a tough spot, but I ultimately agreed and called my brother to say no, he cannot live here. He accepted it and said he understood.
30 minutes later I received a call from my mother chastising me for not allowing my brother to stay, that I was choosing my partner over my family, and ultimately that my actions here were equally as bad if not worse than my brother’s actions. Which made me so angry I threw my phone at the wall ending the call.
But now I am being pressured to allow my brother to stay. So AITAH for not letting my brother live with me?