AITA for Not Letting Extended Family Stay at My House? Roger Weighs In.
Oh honey, grab the popcorn. We’ve got ourselves a family drama, and it’s not the kind served with turkey and mashed potatoes.
This delightful tale of familial obligations and micro-loyalties comes straight from the reliable chaos of Reddit. I swear, if Reddit were a TV show, it would be a blend of Dr. Phil and a soap opera set in the Wild West. Giddy up, darlings, ’cause here we go!
Now, let’s unravel this yarn one knot at a time. Our protagonist, we shall christen them Magnanimous Mystery (MM for short, because I can’t be writing that out all day), kicks off by giving us the lowdown. MM and family—five siblings deep—are frequent travelers, often descending upon the homes of their extended kin like a pack of ravenous book club members eyeing the last bottle of Chardonnay.
Here’s where it gets juicy: MM and their spouse, despite being seasoned members of this roving band of relatives, are consistently offered the hospitality equivalent of a yard sale: the common room. Meanwhile, MM’s younger sister and her hubby receive the VIP treatment in an actual bedroom. Cool, right? Like a kick in the gut from a mule wearing Prada.
The Old Bait and Switch
Fast forward to the present. The tables have turned, and the extended kin need a place to crash in MM’s town. Suddenly, everyone, from the snooty cousin to that slightly weird aunt who smells like mothballs and regrets, expects MM to repay the favor by offering their own bedroom and relegating themselves to the sofa at the sisters’. Mm-mm, honey, Roger smells hypocrisy and it’s not even dinnertime yet.
MM, understandably chafing under the weight of unbalanced scales, suggests that the favoritism having been shown to their sister, Sister dearest should now roll out her welcome mat. Apparently, according to MM, the groups’ logic goes like, “We don’t recall those ten—or five thousand—times you slept next to the dog’s chew toy in the common room, you’re crazy to care, so just deal with it.” Real classy, family, real classy.
The Drama of the Martyrs: A Soap Brick Hour
But wait, MM dishes out a fair plot twist: apparently, the social hierarchy got shaken worse than maracas at a salsa club because, gulp, no one fancied MM’s brother-in-law’s company. Ouch. I’m thinking Cersei Lannister level manipulations here. I mean, if you’re not scheming, are you even family?
Now, here’s the rub, my sparkly readers. MM’s younger sister—not just a sibling, oh no, but a mother of five!—is supposed to be the one hosting. The communal verdict is, you guessed it, “It’s easier for everyone if MM takes the bullet, hosts the entire cavalry, and moves out for two weeks.” This while MM’s doing remote work a couple of days a week. Yeah, nope. I’ve seen lesser plots in Shakespeare’s comedies.
MM’s (totally reasonable) rebellion, however, draws the most outlandish vilifying. Everyone calls them out for ‘rehashing useless old scars’ and ‘acting crazy over sleeping arrangements.’ Pardon me, but if you’re asking someone to turn their house over and barrel into couch-surfing, you might wanna recall times said person turned their friends’ couches into second bedrooms for YOUR benefit. But hey, what do I know? I’m just Roger. Obvious sacrificial lamb vibes here, folks.
Roger’s Laid Down Verdict
So, Roger, tell us: Think MM’s the titular AITA?
Drumroll, readers: Absolutely. Freaking. Not. This family seems to have the diplomatic finesse of a rock concert mosh pit. You don’t kiddie glove past grievances when you’re making present demands. This isn’t just about borrowed bedsheets, darlings, it’s about respect. Relationships weather trials, but only if umbrellas of fairness and mutual concern are open.
If MM wants to sip on that sweet nectar called refusal and redirect the housing requisition back south, then darling, more power to them. After all, their home is their castle, not a public Airbnb for the extended Delaware Clueless.
So hold your ground, MM. From the House of Roger, we extend an appropriately sassy salute. And for the family, a message: next time, one word: hotels.
Stay gloriously unapologetic,
Roger
Original story
AITA for refusing to allow extended family stay with me because I felt I was unfairly treated by them in the past?
I am close with my family and we often vacationed/visited extended family together even as grown adults. Of 5 siblings, me and my younger sister were both married.
Each time we traveled to visit family out of town, my sister and her husband would be provided with a bedroom, while my husband and I were given common areas to sleep.
This wasn’t due to seniority of age or relationship length. I was married one year prior to my sister as well as was in a relationship with my husband for several years longer than she was with her husband.
This happened approximately 10 times, not all with the same family but with various vacations. Fast forward to today, the extended family that put me in a common room every time I visited is coming in to town and needs a place to stay.
I said since my younger sister was always so kindly accommodated by this family member, she should return the favor and let the extended family stay with her.
All my sisters are saying I’m being an asshole to not make a sacrifice to host, and insane to care where I slept and that my little sister wasn’t given special treatment and I need to get over it. The only reason I’ve ever been given (beyond “I don’t remember”) is that no one liked my sisters husband and they wanted him to stay in a room where they didn’t have to hangout with him.
To clarify, my younger sister now has five kids and all my siblings think it would be “easier on everyone” if I let the extended family stay at my house and in my bedroom and I just couch surf at my sisters while the extended family was in town.
I am admittedly against this because I resent this family member for how she treated me like I was less important or deserving of privacy and also I don’t want to give up my house for 2 weeks especially because I work remote 2 days a week. But mostly it’s about the past if I’m being honest.
AITA?