A Family Feud for the Ages: When Grief, Joy, and Heartlessness Collide
Gather ’round, my Internet darlings, for I have a tale that might just be juicier than the latest episode of The Real Housewives. And trust me, this one’s straight from the rabbit hole that is Reddit. Imagine, if you will, a family where joy and heartache are locked in a bitter duel, and a son on the verge of disowning his nearest and dearest. We’re talking epic battle-level drama, y’all.
The Backstory: Love and Loss
Enter our protagonist, a 33-year-old chap who I’ll call Damien for the sake of drama. Damien falls in love with a woman named Raine during their college days. They tied the knot soon after graduation, ready to tackle family life before hitting their 30s. Perfectly idyllic, right? Think again. Just as their first child—an innocent soul named Miley—was about to grace the world, fate decided to toss a Molotov cocktail into their lives.
As Raine carried Miley at 8 months, tragedy struck. A car crash claimed the lives of Raine’s father and brother almost back-to-back, and as if that wasn’t enough to send anyone over the edge, Miley was stillborn the very next day. That sort of grief could turn your heart into a permanent block of ice, but our girl Raine held on. However, that time of year is naturally tinted with melancholy for her. And who could blame her?
The Present: A Bittersweet Expectation
Fast forward a few gut-wrenching years, and Raine is expecting again—but here’s the kicker—the due date aligns uncomfortably close with the anniversaries of those devastating losses. Imagine the emotional minefield she’s navigating. But this is where Damien’s parents decide to channel their inner Cruella de Vil. Spoiler alert: it gets uglier than a Slytherin in a Gryffindor cheer squad.
The Cold-Hearted Conundrum
As the expectant couple braces for another round of emotional chaos, Damien’s mom drops an atomic bomb of insensitivity. “Focus on happiness, not sadness. Your son needs positive vibes only,” was her lame excuse for consolation. Damien, irked if not outright fuming, retorts that his mother is being a tad heartless and Raine should be allowed to grieve however she damn well pleases. Fair point, right?
Ah, but it doesn’t stop there. Like a wrecking ball, Dad crashes into the conversation to unload his own Freudian slip. “Keep this grief to yourself,” he says. Mom nods in agreement, apparently having attended the same school of how-not-to-be-empathetic. Raine, bless her courageous heart, points out the obvious: “That’s not how grief—or love, for that matter—works.” Damien delivers the final blow: “Mind your own beeswax!”
The Final Nail
Now, brace yourselves. This bit might make your mascara run. Damien’s parents, undeterred by the confrontation, lobbed a verbal Molotov right into Raine’s already shattering heart. They flat-out called her a terrible mother-to-be, arguing she’s usurping happiness with her ‘selfish’ grief. Oh, hell no! Damien, ever the knight in shining armor, ushered Raine to the car before going full-blown Hulk on his parents.
Words were exchanged, to put it lightly. Damien declared his parents ‘evil,’ likening their hearts to coal mines, vacant of anything remotely love-like. An epic insult, if you ask me. The fallout? Family members sided with the parental units, claiming Damian overstepped his boundaries. Cut to Damien questioning if perhaps calling them ‘evil’ was straying into hyperbole—though let’s be real, people? It might as well have been a public service announcement.
My Sassy Verdict
Let’s wrap this Shakespearean tragedy with some of Roger’s hard truths, shall we? Damon, you’re my hero of the day. If calling out your parents is what it takes to protect your wife from their unsolicited and toxic “advice,” then honey, ‘evil’ was the least of their worries. When family dishes out this kind of insensitivity, it transcends the bounds of merely ‘speaking one’s mind.’ It’s toxic, damaging, and a parade of red flags.
Here’s the truth: grief doesn’t come with a public display expiration date, and it certainly doesn’t bow down to the whims of narcissistic family members. Sometimes, loving your family means telling them to take a seat in the nosebleed section of your life.
So, my advice? Go forth, Damien and Raine, with your joy and your sorrow. Your son will thrive in a home brimming with genuine emotion and authentic love—and that’s better than any performative happiness charter signed by the emotionally bankrupt. End of story.
Original story
I (33m) had a very big fight with my parents over the way they speak to and about my wife Raine (32f). The end result of the fight is I asked them how they could be so evil and told them they should reflect on how heartless they are acting but that would require them to have a heart.
Of course that is a very strong stance and calling someone evil is extreme. But they have infuriated me and I don’t look at them the same anymore.
But I want to know if I went too far.
So background: Raine and I met in college and we started out as friends who fell in love over time (2 years). We got married a year after Raine graduated and we knew we wanted to start a family so we agreed to try before we were 30.
We were successful and Raine got pregnant with our daughter Miley.
But we didn’t have a happy outcome. When Raine was 8 months pregnant with Miley, her father and brother were involved in a car crash.
Raine’s brother lived for 8 days after and her father for 9 and on the 10th day our beautiful Miley was stillborn. I struggled to hold it together but Raine’s losses were just unbearable.
That time of year is always difficult for Raine. Three losses in three days and she found it hard to come back from that.
Those losses are still felt very strongly.
Fast forward a few years and Raine is expecting our son. The somewhat difficult part is he is due around that same time.
It’s somewhat bittersweet because Miley should be excited about a baby brother, my FIL and BIL should be excited about another baby joining the family, but they’re not here. This is where my family comes in.
My mom told Raine that she can now focus on happiness around that time of the year instead of sadness. I told mom she was being insensitive and my mom said Raine needs to decided this will only be a happy time so our son isn’t burdened by the losses.
Raine told my mom she would still be happy about our son but there’ll always be a sadness about our losses. My dad’s response was to say Raine should keep that to herself and act like it was any other time of the year.
My mom agreed with him and said all honors to the dead should be kept private. Raine said that’s not how grief works and it’s not how love works.
I told them it wasn’t their decision how we honor or remember those we lost and I warned them to be very careful. So my parents decided to go for the worst thing they could say and they told Raine she will be a terrible mother to our son and he deserves better, that he deserves to be more important than loss and grief.
I asked Raine to wait for me in the car and it’s when the fight with my parents took place. They argued that Raine was being selfish and acting like she was the only person who ever lost anyone.
They wanted me to take our (mine and Raine’s) son away from her and oh, I still see red when I think about it.
Calling them evil hit a nerve and I was told by my parents and some of my siblings that I took it too far. While I’m not sure there’s any coming back from this.
AITA?