Breaking the News to Dad: I’ve Been Married for Two Years!
Greetings, my delightful readers! Gather ’round, because today we’re diving into a tale that’s been marinating in secrecy for a full two years. Yes, you read that right—two whole trips around the sun. This story hails from that glorious Dungeon Master of Drama, Reddit, and it’s one you won’t want to miss. Buckle up, darlings!
Picture this: Our heroine, whom we’ll call Jane (because I’m feeling ever so creative), tied the knot in a low-key courthouse ceremony with her Prince Charming a couple of years back. Now, one would assume that a wedding—even a courthouse one—would be followed by a barrage of Instagram posts, teary phone calls, and maybe a tipsy uncle or two. But no, Jane decided to keep this joyous occasion under wraps, shared only with her mom, sister, and a smattering of friends. Sassy sidenote: Was Jane channeling some covert ops wannabe?
Why, you ask? A frosty relationship with her dad, that’s why. Their relationship was icier than a penguin’s bottom. With her dear old dad battling his own demons, sobriety was more of a pipe dream than a reality. Understandably, Jane didn’t feel like announcing her wedding while navigating those choppy waters. It’s like trying to send out wedding invites on a not-so-well-patched boat—it would’ve sunk. But now, hold that thought.
The Present Situation
Fast forward to today, and Jane’s life looks a tad different. Her dad is now one of those sober, reformed, well-meaning gentlemen who seems to have turned things around. The two now possess a “pretty good relationship.” Translation: It’s decent enough to invite him over for a cup of coffee but maybe not to babysit the dog.
And here’s where our heroine finds herself in a bit of a pickle. Her dad, unaware of this major life milestone, has been poking and prodding around the subject of weddings. Yup, half of her family—on her dad’s side—is blissfully ignorant of Jane’s secret nuptials. Whether they blissfully toss and turn at night wondering about Jane’s marital status, who knows?
Jane’s guilt is gnawing at her like a schnauzer with a new chew toy. She’s torn about whether to spill the beans now or continue the web of deception. To make things spicier, Jane and her hubby still dream of a fairy-tale wedding once they’ve saved enough pennies. Do they go on pretending the last two years of matrimony were a mirage?
Past Trauma and Today’s Drama
For those shouting at their screens, “Jane, grow up!”, let me assure you, it’s not that simple. Jane’s dad was more than just a bad-tempered grouch. He was physically and emotionally abusive, and Jane, bless her heart, is still working through all that trauma. When she tells you her fear of his reaction is real, believe her. This isn’t just a matter of a “dad joke gone wrong” scenario. This could unearth some serious emotional upheaval.
And for those counting: Yes, Jane has maintained some level of contact with her dad even during the courthouse wedding. No, they weren’t on the best of terms, but let’s not nitpick. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do, right?
The Moment of Truth
In a plot twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud, Jane has decided it’s time to come clean. She’s keen on facing the music and laying her cards on the table. How does she plan to do this, you wonder? Jane is torn between a heartfelt phone call—and let’s be real, everyone loves a good cry-fest over the phone—or an email/letter/text. Each method has its merits, be it immediate emotional reactions or allowing Dad to digest the news before shooting fire out of his nostrils.
Jane has promised to update her curious, gossiping Reddit kin post-revelation. And oh, honey, aren’t we all on the edge of our seats for that one!
My Ten-Cents (Adjust for Inflation)
So, dearest Jane, if you’re tuning in, here’s Roger’s sassy opinion. You’ve already taken that brave step of building some semblance of a relationship with your dad after what seems like a terrible past. Kudos for that. What you do now should be in line with that newfound veracity and courage.
Call him, write him, skywrite it—whatever floats your boat—but remember, you did nothing wrong in protecting your peace back then. Your marriage, whether announced or kept under wraps, is a testament to the love and decision you and your hubby made. Own it!
In the grand story of life, darling, we all have our well-guarded secrets and skeletons. Yours just happened to involve a wedding ring and a dash of covert ops flair. So, chin up, tell the truth, and get ready for whatever comes your way. Because, at the end of the day, your happiness is what counts.
Roger, out!
Original story
So i got married about two years ago to my husband. Just a courthouse wedding and we didn’t announce it to anyone.
I only told my mom, sister, and a handful of friends prior. At the time my relationship with my dad (parents are divorced) was not good and I didn’t want to tell him what I was doing.
In result, no one on that side of the family knows about my marriage. More people on my mom’s side know now and all of my friends.
Fast forward to now, my dad is now sober and we have a pretty good relationship at this time. He asks me a lot if we’re going to get married and stuff along those lines.
I feel like he has his suspicions but hasn’t accused me of anything. I’m feeling really guilty keeping this from him but if I tell him we got married two years ago, I have no idea how him and his side of the family will react.
We do eventually want to have a wedding once we can afford it, but do I just pretend we haven’t been married for the last few years? I didn’t really think this through, nor did I think my dad would be in my life, or alive period.
But anyways, please provide any advice, maybe I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this.
Update 1: Okay I wanted to give a quick update and clarify some things.
1: A lot of people are telling me to grow up and that im making too big a deal of this. Maybe i do, and maybe i am.
But, my dad was very physically and emotionally abusive to me as a preteen til i was able to move out at 18. I have been working through this and rebuilding our relationship but obviously still have A LOT of trauma from growing up in that household.
So this may not seem big to other people but I am scared of his reaction and I don’t want to ruin what we’ve both worked hard on by telling him this/not telling him the right way.
2: The only time I was no contact with him was for about 4 months early last year. We were still in contact at the time of the courthouse wedding.
3 And the update: I am going to tell him this week. I haven’t decided how exactly to do it.
Part of me wants to call him so it’s more personal, but I also feel a letter/email/text might be a better idea so he has time to react and think about what he wants to say to me. I will update after the conversation is had.
Thank you for everyone’s helpful insight.