Drama at Dawn Mass: Kneeling, Scolding, and a Ring in My Pocket
Ah, churches and their cushy, knee-obliterating prayer cushions. If there’s one thing those devilishly hard kneelers are good at, it’s stirring the pot of relationship drama. Today’s tale unfolds at the frightfully sacred yet knee-aching grounds of a church, capturing a glorious meltdown between a young couple over—you’ve guessed it—kneeling positions. Based on a real Reddit post (because who doesn’t love a juicy internet confession?), this story is all intrigue, knee pain, and a touch of sassy relationship advice.
The Setup: The Sunday Mass Event
Our protagonist embarks on a holy-motivated morning: a lad, 20 (m), with his equally naive and pregnant girlfriend (18, f). Everything appears sanctified, with the gentle hum of hymns and clouds of incense swirling around. Mass is almost like a serene RPG cutscene until kneeling pads enter stage left and things spiral downwards.
Now, most of us can barely handle our knees against a gym mat, let alone the industrial revolutions masquerading as church kneelers. Our young hero experiences precisely this predicament. Ten seconds into adjusting his legs, his girlfriend snaps.
Oh, did she scold him? Oh, she did!
Enter the Scolding Girlfriend
After a mere 10-second fumble, our man gets a piece of her mind. ‘Dude, you’re embarrassing me right now,’ she retorts, like a stage mom at a kid’s piano recital. He counters with the obvious: ‘I have knee pain.’ But, alas, sympathy is not in vogue today. Her swift ‘shut up’ silences him like a gavel in a courtroom.
She follows with a dramatic flair, removing her engagement ring and dropping it right into his pocket. Talk about an Old Testament-inspired parting! The drama! The flair! The tableau vivant of relationship tension radiates across the pews as her cousin makes a cameo to return the ring. Sparks and knee-creaks fly.
Post-Mass Meltdown
Fast forward to post-mass. If anyone thought the sanctity of the church pacified our couple, think again. At the car, the girlfriend pulls a 180—decides to stay for a second mass! Now isn’t that devotion or, maybe, a power play? Beach plans are canceled, replaced by her muttered quips as she packs her things, essentially weaponizing her stuff-packing routine.
Our fellow, already irritated beyond the tolerance saints recommend, says ‘just grab your stuff and get out of my car.’ Ouch. These two are hotter than Hell’s oven.
The Text Message of Doom
No story is complete without a kicker. In less than five minutes, a notification pings on his phone: ‘You disrespecting me at church is something I won’t tolerate at all.’ There it is, folks, enshrined for eternity in the annals of text-based misunderstandings.
Was He Really Wrong?
Our perplexed protagonist turns to the wise crowd of Reddit to decipher the mystery of his apparent transgression. Here’s the lowdown, folks: His knees hurt. The kneeler pad was practically medieval in its lack of padding. The actual villain here might just be outdated church furniture!
As your resident sassy, witty commentator and professional devourer of online drama, let’s flip our perspective books. Yes, church is a place of reverence, and sure, fidgeting might appear unsophisticated to some. But unless you’re part acrobat or possess prayer-padded kneecaps, adjusting seems a necessary compromise.
Roger’s Final Verdict
Here’s what I think, folks. She overreacted with the religious fervor of an Italian opera. Yes, scolding him in such a sacred setting and then opting for a second mass (the devotional twist knife in the gut) was a power play worthy of melodrama awards. And let’s not forget that dramatic jewelry toss! Menacingly giving back a ring at church is just asking for divine intervention.
If scolding knee adjustments and issuing textual ultimatums are the norm, someone please pen a relationship spellbook for these two! Tenderness, communication, and empathy might be less painful ingredients than holy kneelers and harsh words.
As for our hero’s knee plight—nope, he’s not in the wrong corner. His genu-ine pain (pun intended) is legit. No man should suffer through prayers, after all. Maybe instead of saintly sanctimony, these two need a comfy couch, some honest dialogue, and better kneeling alternatives.
Until next time, muffin tops, remember: Love—and decent kneeling pads—shouldn’t hurt.
Original story
Me (20m) and girlfriend (18F) are at church, towards the end of mass we kneel on a pad to pray. I have pain in my knees as the pad is hard and there’s a lot of pressure being put on my knees.
So I adjust them, not kneeling right.
While I’m moving with in the span of 10 seconds my girlfriend scolds me “dude you’re embarrassing me right now”. I tell her “I have knee pain”.
She tells me “shut up”
When we sit down again she takes off her engagement ring and puts it in my pocket. I place it on the ground, which her cousin later gives back to her.
Going out of church and at the car, my girlfriend tells me she’s going to stay for 2nd mass and wait for her mom. Besides the plans we had to go to the beach right after.
Cancelled.
As she’s grabbing her stuff she does the usual things she does when she’s mad such as making comments such as “hold up just grabbing my stuff”. At this point already irritated I tell her “ just grab your stuff and get out of my car”
Not 5 minutes after I left she sends me a text message saying “ You disrespecting me at church is something I won’t tolerate at all “
Was I really in the wrong here?
Edit: I don’t have any medical issues with my knees, I can run, jump,etc just fine. As someone else explains in the comments the knee pads in the church are hard and uncomfortable, puts a lot of pressure on one spot.
Not sure why there an obsession over my knees .