A Tale of Cats, Compromise, and Marital Chaos: Am I the Bad Guy or Just the Realist?
Buckle up, dear readers! Today’s story, ripped straight from the hallowed halls of Reddit’s AITA (Am I the A**hole), features our protagonist, his beloved wife, and their cherished fur baby, Addie. Oh, and let’s not forget the innocent bystanders—brother, sister-in-law, and cat-loving children. Here, we dive into the saga of post-fire turmoil, temporary pet housing that turns permanent, and the eternal question: who is really the a**hole here?
The Fiery Beginning
Let’s set the scene, shall we? Our hero, his queen, and their majestic cat, Addie, were living in their own slice of rented heaven—a cozy duplex. Life was bliss until, one dreadful day, the fire gods decided to smite the duplex, leaving it in ashes. The cause? Some dolt on the other half of the duplex. In the chaos, our dear Addie survived, (phew!). The family, now homeless, sought refuge with the hero’s brother’s family, who graciously took them in. Bless their souls!
The Woes of Temporary Living
As the dust—literally—settled, our protagonist and his wife faced a harsh reality: their landlord was going full-on renovation mode, bringing down what’s left of the duplex to rebuild from scratch. While they frantically searched for new accommodations, the cat-friendly residences in their area were about as rare as a unicorn sighting, and let’s just say, they didn’t quite have the budget to accommodate mythical creatures.
Enter Brother and Sister-in-Law, stage left. With open hearts and open wallets, they offered to temporarily foster Addie. What could go wrong, right? Famous last words.
When Temporary Becomes Forever
A year and a half rolls by. Our hero and his queen frequently visit, ensuring they shower love upon Addie who, by now, is thoroughly pampered by Brother and his family. Oh, did I mention that Brother and SIL have been picking up vet bills and food tabs, batting away any offers to contribute like pros? Because they did. They were pretty much running the Addie Resort™.
During this time, our hero’s spouse is clinging to the hope train, envisioning the day Addie returns. But our protagonist, ever the realist, senses the impending heartache. His wife is in denial—Refusal Town, population: 1.
The Heart-Wrenching Decision
Fast forward to the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Queue the dreamlike music—they finally land an apartment that welcomes pets, angels sing hallelujah! Wife wastes no time in informing Brother that it’s time to hand over Addie.
In a plot twist that Shyamalan would envy, Brother and SIL invite them over for dinner. What’s on the menu? An enticing dish of “We’ve grown attached to Addie, can we keep her?” Hearts shatter, knives twist. Protagonist sees the wisdom here—Addie is living her best life, pampered and adored, with a built-in gaggle of kids to worship her. Hero suggests they give it some thought.
At home, he drops the bombshell—maybe it is best for Addie to stay. Wife is livid. The Chernobyl of spats ensues. She accuses him of betrayal, but ultimately agrees on the condition that they still get to love-bomb Addie on visits. It’s a tough sell and things get chilly.
The Frosty Aftermath
Visiting Addie now feels like walking on eggshells—uncomfortable, awkward, and peppered with lingering resentment. Wife’s current status: perpetually peeved. The climax? A friend drops an innocent question: “Will you get another cat?” Wife, with the precision of a stiletto, retorts “No, because he’d just give it away again.” Ouch, right? Protagonist is left feeling raw and unappreciated.
Roger’s Verdict: Realist or A**hole?
Alright folks, time to don my judge’s robe.
Listen up! Was our dear hero an a**hole for siding with Brother and letting Addie stay put? Meh, not really. Was he a tad optimistic in expecting his wife to just ‘get over it’? Absolutely. Relationships thrive on compromise, but where pets are concerned, sentiments run deep. Scorching deep.
Truth is, he chose what seemed best for Addie’s quality of life. Yes, it’s a punch to the gut for Wife, but let’s be real. Had they yanked Addie back, the cat might have faced some separation anxiety, you know, like humans do. While Wife’s resentment is valid, shifting blame entirely onto our protagonist for making a hard—and in many ways, selfless—call is a bit over the top.
Here’s what Roger would’ve done: laid down the facts and paved the way for joint custody. I mean, let’s face it—pets sometimes get caught in the crossfire of human drama. Get Addie on a visitation schedule, keep peace in the animal kingdom and the marriage.
So, final drum roll, please…Not the a**hole, just a pragmatic cat dad trying to do the right thing. Wife needs time and understanding, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Buckle up, homeslice, patience is key!
Stay sassy, stay wise, and always carry cat treats in emergencies.
Original story
My wife and I rented one half of a duplex for 4 years. In that time, we adopted our cat, Addie.
A year and a half ago, there was a fire caused by someone on the other half of the duplex. The house was destroyed.
We lost a lot, but luckily Addie was okay.
We temporarily moved in with my brother’s family. They were amazing to us.
The kids loved Addie.
It soon became clear that our landlord was going to have to tear down the duplex and rebuild as the damage was that bad. We needed to find a new place to live.
After endless searching, we realized all the vacancies that we could afford in our area didn’t allow cats. My brother and SIL generously offered to keep Addie while we tried to get off the waitlist at a pet friendly apartment.
In the past year and a half, we’ve visited their home frequently and have gotten to see Addie.
To add, if it matters, my brother’s family began financially taking care of her. Including vet bills, food, etc.
They refused to take our money.
The more time that passed, I knew the odds of us being able to take Addie back were slim. My SIL works from home so Addie’s gotten used to someone being around.
Whereas my wife and I work in offices in a different city. The kids were also growing more attached.
I tried to have this conversation with my wife multiple times but she was in denial.
Last month, we finally got off the waitlist for a better apartment that allows pets. My wife instantly called my brother to ask about Addie.
He asked that we meet with him and his wife for dinner.
As I expected, they asked if they could keep Addie. They said they had grown attached to her.
That the kids would have a hard time but they felt Addie would too as she’d gotten used to them and their lifestyle. I have to admit, Addie does seem happy there.
My wife started to protest but I said we’d think about it. At home, I told her this was for the best.
She got pissed and said she wants Addie back. That we had a deal.
I said we need to think about what’s best for Addie and also what’s fair to everyone.
Ultimately, she reluctantly agreed. We still see Addie, but my wife acts different when we’re there.
Sometimes I feel she resents my brother and his family for keeping Addie. But she won’t discuss it.
Recently, a friend asked if we’d ever get another cat. My wife said no as she feels I’d just give it away again.
I was hurt and said I never would’ve given her away if not for the circumstances. She made it clear she’ll never understand my choice.
AITA?