AITA for Telling My Sister She’s Not a Martyr for Being a SAHM? Spoiler: I’m a Woman with Three Kids.
Ah, Reddit. The veritable melting pot of unsought opinions and judgey strangers. Would you believe the drama I waded through this week? Plenty of popcorn-worthy pettiness spilled all over the page of AITA (Am I the A**hole, for the uninitiated). Today’s theatrical spectacle? A tale as old as time: Sibling beef, housewives, and the never-ending debate about whether being a stay-at-home mom qualifies as martyrdom.
Allow me to regale you with this blockbuster, straight from a Reddit user who clearly had her sass-meter dialed up to eleven. This enticing tale features our protagonist (who we’ll call Joan 2.0 for the sake of it) butting heads with her martyr-complex sister.
One Small Home for Mankind, One Giant Leapt to Conclusions
The curtain rises on Joan 2.0’s sister, a SAHM with, count ‘em, two kids. The kids, by the grace of the educational system, are gone all day. That leaves Her Highness the Homemaker with seven hours of glorious privacy. However, instead of Netflix binging or training for triathlons, Sis seems to indulge in the ancient art of wasting time.
Despite this golden ticket of child-free bliss, Sis complains—nonstop. “It’s soooo hard,” she swears. Her husband, clearly not bought into this sob story, has been nudging her towards either picking up her slack at home or diving back into the workforce for a while now. His tipping point? Coming home to a filthy house and an empty fridge.
More Drama than a Kardashian Reunion
Sis prances over to Joan 2.0’s place to unload her woes, accusing Hubby Dearest of not pitching in enough. NEWSFLASH: He drives the kids to school every morning while managing a full-time job. Joan 2.0, fed up with Sis’s laundry list of complaints (pun absolutely intended), confronts her with the zinger of the century.
Joan 2.0 lays it on thick: Sis isn’t remotely a martyr. She practically rolls out a red carpet in her mind between the reality of being a SAHM and Sis’s melodramatic grievances. Joan 2.0 argues, and I quote, if she were Sis’s husband, she would divorce her faster than a calorie-free diet pill.
This is Where It Gets Juicy
Of course, Sis doesn’t take this lightly. A sibling blowout the likes of which daytime TV dreams are made of ensues. Joan 2.0, channels her Marie Kondo wisdom style and tears through the nonsense like she’s decluttering a decade’s worth of emotional baggage. Sis storms off in a huff faster than you can say “Housewives of Anywhereland.”
Joan’s Judgment Day
Now, our girl, Joan 2.0, isn’t just blowing hot air. She’s a bona fide mom of three, has pulled off the miraculous balancing act of working and parenting, and dabbled in SAHM life herself. The sum of her experience? Being an A+ parent doesn’t entail endless rounds of pity parties, especially when the kids are out of the house. Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?
Word to the Wise
If your nine-to-five doesn’t extend to making sure your house doesn’t resemble a post-apocalyptic scene or ensuring the pantry isn’t Ryder Cup dry, then you might need a priority realignment session—not a blindfold for playing martyr ball.
Takeaway: Adulting Isn’t Spectator Sport
Here’s the bottom line, darlings: If you’re a SAHM or SAHD, wear your cape with pride. But it’s not a free pass to slouch through the vigil of laundry and groceries. Your partner might do donuts in frustration in the marriage parking lot if you don’t meet halfway down the aisle with responsibilities. It’s all about teamwork—less Mariah Carey solo performance, more Spice Girl-bonding time.
In the kingdom of Joan’s opinions, if a job needs doing, do it with zest, jest, and maybe a mimosa on the side because darling, that’s how you spice up life—literally and metaphorically.
And Sis, if you’re reading this, I hope you’re planning tonight’s dinner instead of plotting your next tirade. Because honey, martyrdom doesn’t put food on the table, but proper meal planning just might.
Until next time, dearies. Keep it sassy, keep it real, keep it Joan.
Original story
Edit: for everyone who says I don’t know how stressful it is to be a mom. I am literally a women with three kids.
It’s not rocket science to take care of your kids. Basically every parent that works is still helping their kids with hw and taking them to activities.
You don’t need to be a SAHM to do that
My sister and her husband have two kids. They are both in school.
This whole year she has been complaining constantly about how hard it is to be a stay at home mom but she doesn’t want to go back to work. Even though her husband has been pushing her to do for a while.
The issue is that she doesn’t do much compared to her husband. He takes the kids to school in the morning.
The kids have come home on the bus in the afternoon. She has a whole day with no kids that she can do whatever she wants.
Maintaining the house is like 2 hours a day. That leaves her with abut 6-7 hours of just being there.
I was a stay at home parent after I lost my old job for a bit, really it’s not that hard when the kids are in school almost all day.
Anyways, she came over yesterday and was ranting. They got into a argument about her picking up more slack or getting a job.
I guess this started because he came home to a dirty house and no groceries in the fridge. I asked why she wasn’t doing chores or at least getting food and she told me she didn’t have time.
I asked if she got a work job and it was a no. I asked what she is doing all day and gave me no answer.
She then went on a rant about how he isn’t doing enough and her husband is being unfair.
At this point I had enough, I told her she isn’t a martyr to be a stay at home mom. That she literally gets everything paid for and can’t even both to get food.
I told her if I was her husband I would divorce her since she acts more like a kid than a partner
This started our own argument and she is pissed. I personally thinks she needed to here it