Grab your popcorn, darling readers, because I have a tale of family, boundaries, and some rather impressive helicopter parenting that’ll make your drama-filled Thanksgiving dinners seem like amateur hour. This story comes straight from Reddit, courtesy of a brave soul who dared to protect her daughter, even if it meant pissing off half the family. Let’s dive in, shall we?
The Setup: A Memorial Day Tradition
Every year, a young couple (we’ll call them Jane and John) and their two lovely kids—an 11-year-old boy (let’s call him Little Johnny) and a 3-year-old girl (we’ll name her Little Janie)—pack up their weekend bags and head to John’s family’s grand estate for Memorial Day weekend. It’s three days of hot dogs, family bonding, and pretending you didn’t hear Aunt Marge’s “creative” take on politics. Sounds idyllic, right? But hold onto your sunscreen, because things are about to take a turn.
The Rising Action: Enter the 13-Year-Old Tornado
Now, amidst this sea of relatives, there’s one 13-year-old girl with developmental challenges who has a particular interest in Little Janie. Cute, you might think. Wrong. Imagine if Elmo had an obsession with sumo wrestling. This 13-year-old is a bit too hands-on for comfort. Someone clearly missed the memo that Little Janie is a person and not a Cabbage Patch Kid.
The parents—let’s call them the Smiths—seem to adopt a laissez-faire approach to their daughter’s behavior while she’s busy treating Little Janie as her personal jungle gym. And what do Jane and John end up doing? They become super-helicopter parents, whizzing around faster than paparazzi at a celebrity scandal scene.
The Climax: Little Janie Comes Crashing Down (Literally)
This past weekend, while everyone else is lost in the delightful chaos of family gatherings, the 13-year-old decides it’s fun-time and tries to lift Little Janie. Spoiler alert: gravity wins. Little Janie lands squarely on her butt. Jane’s turned-up-the-volume instincts kick in. She swoops in faster than you can say, “Not today, Satan,” determined to separate the two. But the 13-year-old does not take a hint. Kudos to her persistence.
Feeling like she’s parenting in the Twilight Zone, Jane has to become, let’s say, ‘slightly firm’ with the girl every. Four. Minutes. By the end of the day, Jane’s given up trying for a peaceful weekend. Enter: the decision to not allow Little Janie to stay this weekend.
The Fallout: Family Drama Mode Activated
Queue the chorus of gasps and whispers. The in-laws and cousins come out of the woodwork, decrying Jane’s ‘overreaction’. Overreacting? Excuse me? Jane’s rationale: protect her daughter from being treated like a ragdoll. The family, it seems, prefers to employ the “ignore it and it will go away” strategy because they feel sorry for the 13-year-old’s family. Commendable intentions, terrible execution.
And let’s not overlook the fact that Jane’s probably not the only one who sees what’s wrong. Everyone’s wearing their rose-colored glasses while Jane’s donning some very practical, clear lenses.
The Denouement: AINA (Am I Not Awesome?)
Here’s the real kicker: Jane took to Reddit to ask if she was the A-hole for putting her daughter’s safety above familial approval. The general consensus? Honey, no, you are not the A-hole here. As much as family time is crucial, not at the expense of your child’s safety and well-being. Whether or not the 13-year-old realizes what she’s doing, it’s up to the adults around her to establish clear, safe boundaries.
Joan’s Take (And Oh Boy, Do I Have One)
Jane, sweetie, listen up. You did what any reasonable parent would do. On the cosmic scale of A-hole behavior, you’re a straight-up saint. You set boundaries where no one else would, and let’s face it, some folks in your family need a good shake because acting like a 3-year-old is a Raggedy Ann doll is both dismissive and potentially dangerous.
And those family members hissing “overreaction”? Puh-lease. Unless they’re volunteering to shadow the dynamic duo 24/7, they should zip it. Becoming a battle-hardened helicopter parent is exhausting enough without unsolicited ‘advice’ from the peanut gallery.
In the world according to Joan, clear boundaries and an honest talk are essential. Maybe have another heart-to-heart with your family, but with a PowerPoint presentation this time. Visual aids tend to drive the point home nicely. Stick to your guns, or should I say, rotor blades. You’ve got this.
Until next time, lovelies, don’t let the in-laws get you down and remember: you are always the hero in your story!
Original story
Okay my husband (28M) and I (30F) I have 2 kids (11B)(3G) every memorial weekend we gather at his family’s place for a weekend of family bonding 3 day events. We stay close by, so it’s no reason to ever stay over.
Family members gather from all over and stay between his grandparents and parents home. My son loves this time of bonding with his he usu, lly stays the whole weekend.
No problem he and can advocate for himself when dealing with his cousins. One of said cousins happens to be a 13 yo mentally challenged girl obsessed with playing with my daughter.
I have no issues with that besides the fact 13yo plays entirely to rough and I don’t believe she completely grasp the fact that my daughter is a real person and not a toy. Dad and I are super helicopters during this time because nobody else seems to see the problem with this, she constantly tries to pick her up or give piggy back rides, pulling my daughter by her arms to “make” her jump in the air.
Daughter wasn’t prepared to be lifted this weekend and while coming down landed on her butt. I completely cut play time with them, well tried as the 13yo does not listen whatsoever.
Her parents don’t say anything concerning her behavior until after I have to become slightly firm. And then she’ll listen for maybe 4 minutes max, then back to harrasing my daughter.
So I didn’t allow my daughter to stay this weekend, family members were saying we were over reacting, I feel like my daughters safety is the only concern. AITA ?
Edited to add, I believe other members try not to say anything concerning 13yo behavior because they feel sorry for the family and try to ignore what’s obviously wrong.