Oh honey, grab a cup of tea and sit down because Joan has a story to share today, and it’s juicier than the latest Kardashian drama. Picture this: a real-life Reddit post from a brave soul asking if she’s the baddie for uninviting her mom and grandma to her graduation. Let’s dive in, shall we?
The Backstory: Families, Flights, and Financial Feuds
So this gem comes from a 26-year-old woman who’s on the threshold of a major milestone—graduating from nursing school. Hooray, right? Well, hold onto your stethoscopes because there’s more. Her parents got divorced a decade ago, and her dad, complete with a well-off lifestyle, earned full custody. Meanwhile, her mom relocated 16 hours away and hasn’t let go of her disdain for her ex. It’s safe to say that when mom and dad have to share the same airspace, it’s likely to get more awkward than a Zoolander runway walk-off.
The Plan: Dreams Versus Reality
Initially, our protagonist, let’s call her Nurse Betty, had a plan to gather her family, including her mom and grandma, at her cozy little two-bedroom house where she lives with her beau of six years. Visualize a charming but snug setting reminiscent of a romcom scene where everyone’s bumping into each other but laughing through the chaos.
Mom’s supposed to be living her dream vicariously through Betty’s shiny, new nursing degree. And let’s not forget grandma, who’s 70 and has had more mobility issues than a car stuck in a traffic jam. Add little sister into the mix? Oh, darling, you’d need a shoehorn to fit ’em all in!
The Money Talk: Tension Rises
Enter the always-tricky money conversation. Mom’s finances, it’s safe to say, are flimsier than rice paper in a rainstorm. To clarify, every time she visits, Betty and her sister foot the bill for everything. And I mean everything—from flights to meals. Meanwhile, dad’s out here living his best life, luxing it up in hotels and picking up the tab, no questions asked. Clearly, two very different worlds.
With Betty reminding mom to buy her plane tickets, mom’s stress about funds spirals into passive-aggressive paradise. And what’s that? She’s venting to the whole family about her reluctance to see her ex-hubby, the human wallet? Someone, pass me my fan, because it’s about to get heated.
The Blow-Up: Reactions on Reactions
Betty, keen on keeping the peace, tries to reason with mom. She’s hoping for just one day of tolerance. One tiny, itty-bitty day. That shouldn’t be harder than getting an elephant into skinny jeans, right? Well, it turns out, it is. Mom, bless her heart, flips out like she’s starring in a daytime soap opera. “I’m the adult, you’re the kid,” she bellows. Oh, the dramatic irony.
The Decision: The Big Uninvite
After dealing with passive-aggressiveness and family grumblings, Betty makes a bold move. She uninvites mom and grandma, suggesting they celebrate later in the summer minus the stress and spatial crunch. Now, here’s where things spiral worse than a VH1 reality show reunion. Mom loses it, sending Betty a torrent of accusatory texts and blocks her faster than you can say, “Calm down!” Grandma? She goes nuclear too, telling our dear Betty that she’s basically lost a mom forever. Yikes. This escalated quicker than a clickbait headline.
The Fallout: Birthday Blues and Family Feuds
Two months pass. Zip. Nada. Radio silence from mom and grandma. Betty even experiences a pitiful birthday without so much as a ‘happy birthday’ Facebook emoji wave. Mom’s out here telling people she only has two kids now, like she’s re-casting her family sitcom.
Joan’s Verdict: A Cooling Perspective
Darling Betty, if I could pour you a virtual martini, I would. Nurse Betty didn’t do anything wrong. She’s a savvy gal who saw a bomb about to detonate and tried to preemptively defuse it. It’s not her responsibility to micromanage her mom’s endless vendettas or financial woes. Asking for one day of civility wasn’t the end of the world. She’s been nothing but patient, empathetic, and supportive. The idea was to avoid a showdown and celebrate in a stress-free setting later. Truly, it’s not her party if she can’t cry if she wants to.
So what’s my Joan verdict? Not the A in TAH at all. Maybe, just maybe, dear mom and grandma need a reality check—and perhaps a chill pill or three. Nurse Betty has the right to peace and joy on her big day without navigating a battlefield of unresolved family drama. Here’s to Betty’s new journey—may her future be as bright and peaceful as the nursing cap she’s worked so hard to earn. Cheers, darling!
Original story
I, 26 F, am graduating from nursing school in June. My parents are divorced and have been for the last 10 years.
My dad (57 M), stepmom, and 2 sisters live about four hours away from me. I see them often and we are all very close.
My mom (52 F) & grandma (70 F) live in another state about 16 hours from me. My mom has lived there since my parents got divorced.
I was planning on having my mom & grandma fly out for my graduation & stay with my boyfriend of 6 years (27 M) & I. We bought a 2-bedroom house & it’s not huge by any means.
The plan was to have my mom, grandma & little sister stay with us for my graduation. It would be a tight squeeze, but we’d make it work.
My mom is a medical assistant & I am living her dream of becoming a nurse. This is a HUGE deal for her.
My mom has always been horrible with her money. Over the years, my sister and I have either spent our own money to go and see her or paid for her flight to come and see us.
Every time my mom comes and visits, she stays in one of our homes, we pay for all her meals, drive her around, etc. This hasn’t been an issue as we love our mom and spending time w her, but we are college students and money can be tight.
My dad is well off – he has a great job and every time he comes and visits, he gets a hotel, pays for everything, drives, etc.
My dad got us kids in the divorce (for good reason) & my mom has never gotten over it. She HATES my dad.
They’ve only had to see each other about five times since their divorce.
I was planning my mom’s visit with her & she started being very passive aggressive. I would text her w excitement and ask when she was planning on buying her plane tickets, what dates she was thinking, etc. & she would respond “chill out. I don’t have a lot of money. I will buy them when I can.” I brushed it off and figured she was just stressed about money.
A few days later I find out she has been going off to my sisters & grandma about how much she doesn’t want to see my dad. She refuses to go out to dinner with all of us after my graduation and has made passive aggressive remarks about having to be around him.
This hurt my feelings. Shouldn’t she be able to spend ONE day around him for me?
I had a conversation with her over the phone and expressed that I recognize her discomfort and I really hope she’s able to get past this for the sake of my graduation as it would only be one day she has to see him. My mom flipped out.
She told me I don’t know when to shut up, that she is an adult & I’m the kid.
After a lot of thought and consideration, I decided that it would be best to celebrate my graduation with my mom & grandma on a later date. My mom doesn’t have a lot of PTO or money, and my grandma has mobility issues and traveling would be a lot on her.
I texted them “I decided that it’s a lot to ask that you all travel here for my graduation. We are super busy with everything we have going on w the house. I’m sorry for any trouble this may cause, but I have decided instead of doing a graduation party, John (my boyfriend) and I are going to take a few days off & get a room somewhere and spend some time together & celebrate. I want to catch up with you all later this summer & maybe celebrate me finishing nursing school at that time. I’m sorry for the late notice & I hope you all understand. Miss & love you all!”
I sent the text and went to bed. I wake up the next morning to texts from my mom saying she is incredibly hurt.
She said she is done with me and that I am taking my graduation from her. She blocked me on Facebook & Instagram.
She blames the entire thing on me and takes no accountability as to her part in this. I called my grandma to touch base and she FLIPPED.
She told me I lost a mom and I deserve to be blocked on everything. She said I am cold hearted, and she can’t believe I would do something like this and take my graduation from them.
She continued yelling at me and hung up the phone. This is hurtful as I was very close with my mom and grandma.
It’s been two months, and I haven’t heard from either of them.
It was my birthday last week and my mom didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. She’s been telling people she only has two kids now, like I never existed.
I am incredibly hurt by this. I was trying to avoid conflict by celebrating with them at another time without the stress of having to see my dad, be cramped in my small house, and all the financial stressors that come with it.
I haven’t reached out and I don’t plan to as I feel I didn’t do anything wrong. AITAH?