Alright folks, buckle up! We’ve got a juicy tale straight from the real corridors of Reddit. A father, let’s call him Steve, reached out to the internet’s collective consciousness with a doozy of a dilemma. Let’s get right into the nitty-gritty.
The Doting Duo: Steve and Super Mom
Steve (35M) is married to a magical unicorn of a wife (32F) who, let’s face it, seems like she could give Mary Poppins a run for her money. We’re talking about a woman who never raises her voice, is eternally patient, and makes healthy meals from scratch. And oh, did I mention homemade ice cream? That’s right, she’s basically Martha Stewart with the patience of a saint.
So, when Super Mom decides to rejoin the workforce, they’ve got to figure out childcare for their nearly 2-year-old daughter. Now, the logical solution might seem like asking Steve’s retired mom (68F) to step in, right? Wrong.
Meet Grandma: The Flashback to the ‘80s
Here’s the tea. Steve’s mom is what we call “Old School” but not in the charming, nostalgic way. Think more along the lines of frozen pizza, chain smoking indoors, and having long chats with her friends while ignoring the bubbly toddler wreaking havoc… you catch the picture?
It’s not that Grandma isn’t well-intentioned. Oh, she certainly loves her granddaughter. But her childcare philosophy is rooted in the era of “children should be seen and not heard”—you know, before parenting blogs and organic snacks became a thing.
The Showdown: Steve’s Quandary
When Steve mentioned to Super Mom that Grandma wanted to babysit, she gave a laugh so hearty it could shatter glass. Then she painted a vivid picture of their daughter’s future with her maternal granny: junk food, endless TV time, and colorful vocabulary acquired from phone conversations with Grandma’s pals. Steve quietly shelved the idea.
But alas, Grandma was persistent. She wanted to know why they were interviewing nannies instead of entrusting their daughter to her. Cue the awkward conversation where Steve had to gently, but firmly, shut down her dreams of being the daily babysitter.
Predictably, Grandma didn’t take it well. Tears were shed, and Grandpa jumped in to declare Steve as an A-level jerk. As if that wasn’t drama enough, Grandma had apparently already told her entire social circle about her childcare plans. Yikes. Honestly, it’s a miscommunication trainwreck waiting to happen.
Let’s Break It Down: Who’s the Real Villain?
Let’s consider the pros and cons like the rational beings we are. Steve wants the best for his daughter. That means a safe, healthy, and nurturing environment. His mom, bless her heart, might have a bit of a difficult time adhering to these modern parenting standards. Reality check: people don’t change just because you really, really want them to.
Imagine this scenario: little Susie coughs in the smoky house after eating a pepperoni pizza, while Grandma gives her scathing reviews on her very age-appropriate tantrum. Not exactly the postcard Steve envisioned, right?
Steve’s loyalty lies with his nuclear family. Sorry, Grandma, but your methods are as outdated as that disco playlist you love. Should Steve have broken the news more gently, avoiding the full-out familial meltdown? Perhaps. But sometimes, tough love is the only answer.
Roger’s Final Verdict
So, AITA? Absolutely not. Steve, my man, you’re just doing what any reasonable parent would do. Protecting your kid from antiquated childcare practices isn’t a crime. Your mom’s feelings might be hurt, but that’s a small price to pay for ensuring your child’s well-being.
To all the Steves out there juggling family dynamics, remember: you’re not the villain. You’re the parent. And putting your child’s best interest first doesn’t make you an A-hole. It makes you a hero. Until next time, darlings, keep those wine glasses full and your sanity intact!
Original story
I need an outsiders position on this. Give it to me straight.
My wife (32F) and I (35M) have a nearly 2yo daughter. My wife is staying home with her but is going back to work soon.
I mentioned it to my (retired) mom (68F) and she was very insistent on babysitting for us.
My wife is a superhuman. I did not know mothers like this existed until I saw her with my daughter.
She never raises her voice, she’s unbelievably patient, she always knows what to do and she’s just so loving. She cooks each of our daughters meals from scratch and even makes healthy ice cream for the whole family.
They spend multiple hours a day every day in nature regardless of weather. She doesn’t use screens – she’s that dedicated.
I couldn’t think of anything our daughter would need that my wife hasn’t thought about and bought 3 months ago. She is the best and I sincerely don’t know how she does it.
Naturally, her expectations for childcare are very high. Good thing is we can afford it.
I mentioned to my wife that my mom insisted on babysitting for us when she returns to work. She laughed and said ‘yes, I can imagine that.
Our daughter eating frozen pizza in front of a TV while your mom talks to her girlfriends on the phone, smoking inside, occasionally yelling at our daughter for age appropriate behaviour. And when we come back she swears upon god she did not smoke here, tells daughter was naughty and we must spank her or she’ll grow up to be a prostitute’.
I laughed too and never mentioned it to my wife again.
Now, my wife did exaggerate but she’s not wrong. My mom is like that.
The ‘children must be seen but not heard’ type. She also tells what she calls ‘white lies’ very often, basically refusing to admit she did something she was told not to do.
Because she does what she wants and believes she’s always right. So I realise her watching our daughter is not really an option, especially because our daughter does not like my mom at all.
Some time after our initial conversation, I was talking to my mom on the phone. She asked about wife’s plans regarding work and I eventually told her we’re already interviewing nannies.
Long story short, I had to tell her that we don’t think her babysitting our daughter is a good idea and is not happening. She was very offended by the fact that we’d ‘rather trust a stranger than her’.
She cried and I felt bad (apparently not bad enough to change my mind as I still think what she wants is not in my family’s best interest).
I do feel bad about this whole situation but I must also say my parents are welcome to visit and interact with their granddaughter. I’m not preventing them from being in her life.
However, my mom is giving me silent treatment and my dad called me worse than an asshole. Apparently, mom is really hurt as she already told everyone she would be having her granddaughter over every day.
I must say I never agreed to it and she never even mentioned wanting to watch her in their home, which is an automatic no since they smoke inside.
AITA?