Picture this: you’re on a transatlantic flight, the gin and tonic whispers invite zen, and suddenly—chaos ensues. This story is based on a real Reddit post from a real person.
Ah, flying—it’s supposed to be a test of patience and the possibility that you might just come back slightly more cultured with a quasi-British accent (‘ow ’bout a spot o’ tea, guvnor?). But no, sometimes, it’s about fighting your own little wars. Look, inflight meals aside—because those alone can be a battleground of microwave mishaps—there are other scuffles. Like our protagonist’s recent mid-sky showdown: the great battle for the aisle seat.
Setting the Scene: Bliss Interrupted
Our hero, a 34-year-old man—let’s call him Captain Comfortable—was returning from a trip with his wife. They’re settled in a middle and window seat duo, and fortune decides to sprinkle a little magic dust their way with an empty aisle seat. Captain Comfortable graciously claims his kingdom of legroom and enhanced bladder access. Majesty in economy class, lovelies!
Four and a half hours into euphoric leg-stretching, the sky gods seemed to frown. Enter stage left: Entitled Evelyn and Nervous Nelly. Evelyn, seated across from our Captain, traipses over with Nelly trailing behind like a sheepish duckling. “Oh, hell no,” you imagine Captain Comfortable might have internally sighed as Evelyn announces—not asks—that her buddy would migrate to Captain Comfortable’s exclusive personal row to escape from some banshee baby bawling in the back.
Action Plot: The ‘Asking vs. Telling’ Dilemma
Now keep in mind, on a good old metal bird, negotiations typically go through our peacekeepers: the Flight Attendants (FAs). Captain Comfortable politely queries if FAs blessed this seat swap with their magical approval. Of course, he’s not gonna let Mademoiselle and Her Highness of the High-decibels hijack his respite without checking the legalities!
In flies the FA, wings not flustered, to clarify that aisle and window lovers must not be disturbed. Evelyn then shifts into a high-pitched diatribe, dissecting seating ethics and Captain’s supposed betrayal of original seating assignments. “Excuse me, woman! This ain’t a Scooby-Doo mystery where you uncover dastardly plots to sit closer to the loo,” you can almost hear him say.
Climax: The Drama Llama Arrives
Gritting his teeth with the force of ten seatbelt extenders, our Captain holds his ground. Evelyn throws a properly dramatic tantrum, flounces away to corporate (aka another FA) for backup, and stages her retreat to her aisle. Not before launching one last verbal missile – branding Captain Comfortable as the sky’s ruling “fucking asshole.”
Now, I’m no in-flight philosopher, but calling someone an aerial antagonist doesn’t exactly make a strong case to join their unoccupied haven. Captain shrugs off this wandering fool with the grace of a peppermint-puff apparition and fixes eyes back on his “engrossing show” (what was it? Bridgerton? Surely, it’s Bridgerton).
Resolution: Sideline Commentaries
From the Captain’s viewpoint? Smooth sailing, folks. Just kept the inquiry professional and refrained from entering the gossip galley madness. Imagine deserving a paper crown for Airline Civility here.
Yours truly, Roger—the resident sassy storyteller—sides vehemently with Captain Comfortable. Full circling back to Redditland’s wisdom—a big, fat, collective ‘NTA’ chants from the Reddit choir.
Roger’s Rule of Sky Etiquette
Sassy travelers, here is the divine decree: ask, don’t announce! Captain Comfortable did absolutely right by interrogating the sovereigns of the sky (FAs) and keeping his calm. If Evelyn had inquired with the gentle grace of someone offering you the last slice of pizza, perhaps the Captain might’ve considered. Instead, she wielded her entitlement like a toddler high on Halloween candy.
So, next time you find yourself in a moving tube above the clouds, tiptoe forward with grace. Ask. Don’t announce. And keep thy temper grounded and posterity landscapes open.
Turbulently yours,Roger
Original story
My wife (36f) and I (34m) were flying back from Dublin to Washington DC. We were assigned the middle and window seats in a row.
The aisle passenger no-showed so we ended up having the entire row to ourselves (huge win). Before leaving the gate, I moved to the aisle seat and my wife stayed at the window.
Nothing eventful happened for the first 4.5 hours of the flight.
FAs were amazing and even gave us extra drinks for the “guy in the middle”. Randomly, the passenger from the aisle seat across from me comes over with her friend who was sitting a few rows back and ANNOUNCES that her friend would now be taking the middle seat to get away from an crying baby further back.
She did not ask – she told us this was happening. There were about 3 hours of flight time remaining.
I ask the woman whether the Flight Attendants are on board with this. She said yes, but since these deals are usually brokered by the FA, I called over a FA.
The FA said the agreement was that they could take an available aisle seat but could not disrupt anyone’s seating arrangements. The woman then starts bitching about how I was assigned the middle but then moved to the aisle before takeoff, so I shouldn’t even have that aisle seat.
I had been sitting there for almost 5 hours and we had already distributed our items all over the row.
The woman and her friend disappear to talk to another FA for about 5 minutes. The woman across the aisle then comes back to her seat and proceeds to yell at me saying that “her friend would not be sitting there – not because she was not allowed to, but because I was so incredibly rude” and that I was a “fucking asshole”.
I kept my eyes on the show I was watching.
The only thing I did this entire time was ask to talk to the flight attendant. I did not say anything else to this woman, though I would have liked to.
AITA for not volunteering the middle seat mid-flight?