Buckle up, darlings, because today’s tea is hot and the sass is real. Let me weave you a tale straight from the perilous depths of Reddit’s r/AITA, featuring a 17-year-old heroine, her absentee mother, a dad with his head in the sand, and a pair of grandparents who swoop in like caped crusaders. Grab your popcorn. This is going to be juicy.
The Setup
Our story begins with a 17-year-old female (let’s call her Jane) who inherited a mental illness from her mother. This illness, as luck would have it, reared its ugly head just after her mother got pregnant with Jane. The hormones apparently went, “Surprise! Full throttle chaos!” and Jane’s mom spiraled into a black hole of untreated mental illness.
Dad, apparently auditioning for the role of ‘Most Delusional Parent of the Year,’ buries his worries (and his common sense) head-first into the sand, even as mom’s mental state goes from bad to ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest.’ Jane was just a toddler when Mom took her leave, unable to stay in Jane’s life because, well, she was swamped knee-deep in her own struggles. Dad, who had moved on quicker than a Tinder swiper, married someone who thought mental illness was as real as Bigfoot – an attitude that rippled through the new household.
The Dark Times
Jane’s dad and his new wife (Let’s call her Stepmom McJudgyPants) made a no-brainer decision to treat any signs of mental illness like dinner table conversations about politics—completely off-limits. Jane struggled in silence while teachers and schoolmates started picking up on what Dad and Stepmom McJudgyPants chose to ignore: something wasn’t quite right with Jane, bless her heart.
Teenage years arrived, and Jane’s coping mechanisms, like Mom’s, went MIA. She hit 13 and felt like she was breaking apart. Enter: Super Gramps and Nana. They’re like the Avengers but with Werther’s Originals and knitting needles. The grandparents noticed Jane’s struggles and battled it out in family court like seasoned gladiators to win custody of her. Donezo. Within weeks, Jane got the mental health care she needed, slapping on a proper diagnosis like it was a badge of honor.
The Tension Escalates
Even though Jane lives with her grandparents, the court still mandates quality time with Dad and Stepmom McJudgyPants. Spoiler alert: it’s a nightmare. These fine folks have taken up gaslighting as their family sport. They insist Jane’s perfectly fine and only “messed up” because the grandparents convinced her to think so.
Fast forward to a fateful Wednesday dinner. Dad goes on a rant, spilling his grievances louder than a reality show confessional about how Jane’s grandparents are the satanic reason for her ‘mental issues.’ Jane, bless her heart, unleashes a world-class truth bomb. “You would’ve let me get like Mom if it weren’t for my grandparents and aunts who did everything they could for me. Ignoring the signs won’t make them disappear, Dad.” Mic drop.
The Aftermath
Dad and Stepmom McJudgyPants were, naturally, oh-so-offended. Their home, they clamored, was not the place to unleash such rudeness. How dare Jane say such truths—uh, I mean, terrible things in front of their other kids? Clearly, they told her, her grandparents are making her a “spiteful little girl.”
The Verdict
So, is Jane the a-hole for calling out her father in his own Stephome of Denial?
Oh honey, let Joan set the record straight.
Jane, my dear, you are NTA, not even close. The only thing you might be guilty of is delivering hard truths as bluntly as a wrecking ball. If your dad wants to stick fingers in his ears and sing “La La La,” that’s his prerogative. But don’t for a second think you owe him or Stepmom McJudgyPants your silence regarding issues that are literally life-or-death.
Your grandparents deserve monuments in their honor. They stepped up, fought back, and gave you a fighting chance. And your aunts? Gold stars all around.
So what’s Joan’s takeaway? Family doesn’t get a free pass to shirk responsibility just because they share your DNA. If they’re doing harm, or pretending very real problems are figments of imagination, call them out. Speaking your truth in the face of denial isn’t just brave; it’s necessary. The only thing sharper than a well-placed truth bomb is the crumbling denial it leaves behind.
Until next time, darlings. Let’s keep it real and always sassy.
Original story
I’m (17f) mentally ill. I inherited mental illness from my mom.
Something that destroyed her life not long after I was born. She was sick for years, her family didn’t always recognize something was badly wrong, she lived a petty typical life until she got pregnant with me and then pregnancy hormones made her untreated mental illness so much worse.
My parents were married and my dad sorta buried his head in the sand even as mom got worse. She left when I was 2.
I saw her occasionally after that but she was never a big presence in my life. She was too sick to be.
She was so far gone and her family tried to help her but she rejected help. She was hospitalized a few times but always ended up back where she began.
My dad ignored the warnings that I could inherit mental illness from mom. He decided I was perfect and we would be perfect.
He moved on from the marriage and liked to pretend everything was fine. He married someone who was pretty awful about mental illness and she was hard for me to be around.
I don’t know where all her views came from but they meant mental illness was stigmatized in the household and it made it even easier for dad to ignore when I started showing signs. It was something I was told time after time not to bring up.
Then he’d say mom was just a bad person and his wife would say I should be glad they weren’t trying to turn me into a freak like my mom’s family was, because they saw the signs and they tried speaking out too.
It freaked me out that I could get worse. Especially when teachers and people at school started to notice.
In the end I turned 13 and found myself having multiple breakdowns a week because I could tell something wasn’t right. My grandparents ended up fighting and winning custody of me thanks to the concerns about my mental health and my dad’s outright refusal to address it.
He told a judge he would not take me to any “fucking head doctor” about it. And I was diagnosed within weeks of my grandparents getting custody and I still live with them today.
I am court ordered to see my dad and his family still. But I’m just waiting until I can sever contact.
My dad spends his time with me badmouthing my mom’s family. He blames them for how I ended up and for making me think something was wrong with me.
How they did this when he really didn’t let me see them is beyond me. But he believes it.
So does his wife. They tell their kids that too.
And I was at his house for a dinner Wednesday (court ordered) and he complained about not having custody and my grandparents again and I lost my temper and told him he would have let me get like mom if it weren’t for my grandparents and my aunts who did everything they could for me. I told him I would never be okay with him ignoring the signs like that.
Both my dad and his wife told me I was rude in their home and around their kids and clearly my grandparents are letting me behave like a spiteful little girl still.
AITA?