Ah, Reddit. The place where people expose their deepest secrets to the judgmental eyes of the internet. Today, dear readers, we dive into a tale of fur and flames, loyalty and love, and the moral conundrum of cat custody.
So, here’s a spicy story straight out of AITA (that’s “Am I the Asshole” for the uninitiated), where OP and his wife were tenants in half of a duplex for a solid four years. During those years, they adopted the fur baby of their dreams: Addie the Cat. Everything was peachy until the evil flame monster decided to make an uninvited appearance, courtesy of the very irresponsible humans living on the other side of their duplex. The inferno claimed their home but thankfully spared Addie. Cue the temporary relocation saga.
OP and his wife bunked in with OP’s super charitable brother and his family. And wouldn’t you know it? Those wonderful kids took to Addie like TikTokers to a new trend. Not only did this mean endless cuddle sessions for Addie, but it also meant that OP’s brother and sister-in-law took over all the cat-related finances. Yes, that includes those vet bills that usually cost you an organ or two.
The Dreaded Apartment Hunt
It didn’t take long for our protagonists to realize that finding affordable pet-friendly housing is as tricky as convincing a cat to walk on a leash. While they were relentlessly swiping left on apartments, which seemed more exclusive than the Met Gala, the brother’s household became Addie’s luxury pet spa. Everyone recognized Addie had become as precious to the brother’s family as she was to OP and his wife. Except, well, his wife seemed a tad bit more in denial than anyone else.
The Plot Thickens
Flash forward to a lot of hand-wringing and polite rejections later, OP and his wife finally hit the jackpot: a pet-friendly apartment. You would think this is the happy climax, but life’s got plot twists better than any soap opera. When OP’s wife eagerly called dibs on Addie, the brother extended a cautious olive branch by proposing dinner. Over breadsticks and possibly awkward clinking of glasses, the brother and sister-in-law sheepishly confessed that they’d grown too attached to Addie, comparing her departure to ripping off a band-aid from the soul.
OP, always the sensible diplomat, agreed to “think about it,” and thus the seed of marital discord was planted.
The Great Debate
Back at home, OP and his wife had a showdown. She was ready to swim through a sea of lava to get Addie back. He, on the other hand, figured that uprooting Addie from this cushy life would be more traumatic for her and the kids. Though pained by the decision, he persuaded his wife to let Addie stay.
The results? Resentment from wife, tension thicker than a furball whenever they visit Addie, and a pointed comment from the wife to a friend, suggesting OP might just hand over their next cat too given any “circumstances.” Ouch.
Joan’s Sass-o-Meter Reading
So here’s my two sassy cents, dear reader. Was OP an asshole? Let’s break this down:
So yes, OP, you’re looking at it like the responsible adult in the room. Cats love their routines, their familiar scents, their tranquil territory—things Addie has grown to adore in her new pad. Sure, the wife might still be in the five stages of grief, but the truth unboxed here is she’ll eventually reach the acceptance stage. Even if it takes another cat (or million) without the zero property damage clause.
Let’s shake up that sass shake once more for closure:
You, dear OP, are NTA (Not The Asshole). You weighed the scenarios, placed the fur baby’s interests first, and took the hit like a trooper. Now, all that’s left is for the wife to catch up because time does perform miracles, eventually. From my palace of opinion, Addie seems to have landed herself a plush gig, and you, OP, have definitely proved it’s not about the positions you hold in life but the positions that you let go. Meow and Amen to that!
Original story
My wife and I rented one half of a duplex for 4 years. In that time, we adopted our cat, Addie.
A year and a half ago, there was a fire caused by someone on the other half of the duplex. The house was destroyed.
We lost a lot, but luckily Addie was okay.
We temporarily moved in with my brother’s family. They were amazing to us.
The kids loved Addie.
It soon became clear that our landlord was going to have to tear down the duplex and rebuild as the damage was that bad. We needed to find a new place to live.
After endless searching, we realized all the vacancies that we could afford in our area didn’t allow cats. My brother and SIL generously offered to keep Addie while we tried to get off the waitlist at a pet friendly apartment.
In the past year and a half, we’ve visited their home frequently and have gotten to see Addie.
To add, if it matters, my brother’s family began financially taking care of her. Including vet bills, food, etc.
They refused to take our money.
The more time that passed, I knew the odds of us being able to take Addie back were slim. My SIL works from home so Addie’s gotten used to someone being around.
Whereas my wife and I work in offices in a different city. The kids were also growing more attached.
I tried to have this conversation with my wife multiple times but she was in denial.
Last month, we finally got off the waitlist for a better apartment that allows pets. My wife instantly called my brother to ask about Addie.
He asked that we meet with him and his wife for dinner.
As I expected, they asked if they could keep Addie. They said they had grown attached to her.
That the kids would have a hard time but they felt Addie would too as she’d gotten used to them and their lifestyle. I have to admit, Addie does seem happy there.
My wife started to protest but I said we’d think about it. At home, I told her this was for the best.
She got pissed and said she wants Addie back. That we had a deal.
I said we need to think about what’s best for Addie and also what’s fair to everyone.
Ultimately, she reluctantly agreed. We still see Addie, but my wife acts different when we’re there.
Sometimes I feel she resents my brother and his family for keeping Addie. But she won’t discuss it.
Recently, a friend asked if we’d ever get another cat. My wife said no as she feels I’d just give it away again.
I was hurt and said I never would’ve given her away if not for the circumstances. She made it clear she’ll never understand my choice.
AITA?