Hold onto your baby booties, folks, because I’ve stumbled upon a Reddit saga so riddled with family drama and hormonal hiccups that it could easily pass as the plot for the next blockbuster melodrama. Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, let’s get one thing straight: This is a real story from a real person, navigating the minefield that is family gatherings while heavily pregnant. So, grab your popcorn (or, in solidarity with our protagonist, maybe a jar of pickles), and let’s dissect this modern-day soap opera, courtesy of a baby shower turned battleground.
Picture this: Our hero, a soon-to-be mom, hands over the reins of her baby shower to her MIL, hoping for a day of celebration with loved ones. Instead, she finds herself knee-deep in a guest list sans her own guests, unexpected belly rubs, and, wait for it, a rogue MIL at her most intimate doctor’s appointments. If your jaw just hit the floor, you’re not alone. But is our protagonist just being ‘hormonal’, or is there more to this tale of woe?
First off, the baby shower. The MIL, entrusted with the sacred duty of invitations, conveniently forgets to include anyone from our hero’s side. And when it comes to the registry? Ghosted, until our hero steps in. If this isn’t the makings of a family feud, I don’t know what is. But wait, there’s more. The MIL, who has a penchant for uninvited belly rubs, apparently sees no boundaries when it comes to gynecological exams either. Yes, you heard that right. Our hero had to witness her MIL peering during a cervical check-up. If that doesn’t scream ‘boundary issues’, I’m not sure what will.
Now, I hear you asking, “Roger, maybe she’s just being supportive in her own, very (VERY) misguided way?” Sure, I thought so too, until I realized this saga doesn’t end at the doctor’s office. Not only has our hero had to take proactive measures to banish her MIL from future exams, but she’s also had to put her foot down regarding her presence in the delivery room. And let’s not glance over the fact that our hero and her husband are juggling this circus while living with his family, finishing a house, and preparing for their little bundle of joy.
So, dear readers, here’s Roger’s Hot Take: While hormones might amplify emotions, they certainly don’t fabricate invasive MILs or magically erase guest lists. Our protagonist isn’t just battling pregnancy hormones; she’s grappling with a severe case of ‘My MIL Thinks She’s the Third Parent’. In a world where pregnancy should be about bonding and preparation, our hero is forced into the role of boundary-setter-in-chief.
The solution? It’s time for a serious sit-down with the MIL, ideally with the partner playing a leading role in the ‘Setting Healthy Boundaries’ scene. Communication is key, even if it feels like you’re talking to a brick wall. Remember, while building a house is tough, building a family dynamic that respects personal boundaries is even tougher. And to our hero, know this: You’re not a doormat; you’re a fortress, standing strong in the face of unsolicited belly rubs and rogue guest-list editors.
As we reach the end of our tale, let’s not forget the true essence of family gatherings: love, support, and a healthy dose of boundaries. And to all the MILs out there, maybe just stick to knitting booties instead of gate-crashing gynecological exams, yeah?
Until next time, keep your hormones in check and your in-laws at bay. This has been Roger, dropping another Hot Take and dishing out advice one outrageous family drama at a time.
Original story
I’m having my baby shower tomorrow but I’m noticing my MIL is acting weird. She was in charge of inviting everyone since her and her aunts wanted to host this for me, I only chose the date. On Monday I saw the FB invite and no one I had on the list was on it. Just people on my husbands side and not even people we’re close to. She had asked me last Thursday to get addresses to send physical invitations to my side. My husband and I told her to just add them to the FB event since it was so close to the date and the physical invites probably wouldn’t get there on time. I had to add them myself and put the registry on there since she didn’t add that either. The FB event had already been created a week prior so the people that she added had much more notice. Most of the people I wanted there have said they won’t be able to make it because of the late notice. She knows I don’t like to be touched (it was big conversation at the start of the pregnancy) but she’ll walk up and start rubbing my belly without at least giving me a heads up first. She is also getting in the Habit of imposing herself during the appointments and during last cervical check thought I saw her looking. Idk if I’m being paranoid and hormonal or not though.
Edit: it was only once/one appointment that she looked during the cervical exam. I haven’t had an exam since and I have messaged my OB to have her taken out of the room for any more. I didn’t want to confront her because I wasn’t sure if I imagined it but she was definitely turned that direction. It hadn’t been a problem at any other appointments. Also just cause I don’t want to cause problems and don’t currently have the energy to fight with a grown woman doesn’t mean I’m a doormat guys…I’m heavily pregnant (measuring 2 weeks ahead with a baby in the 96th percentile) and none of this was a problem until around month 4.5. If you genuinely think I’m being a doormat please tell me why or how to fix it. I’m 22 and she’s 50. Someone pointed out that mage age matters.
Edit #2: my husband unfortunately can’t take off work to come to appointments because we need the money to finish building our house. He tries to enforce boundaries but he’s also trying to finish building our house and work and support me emotionally when I’m ACTUALLY being VERY irrational (like when I said I felt like I didn’t pick my babies theme. I LIKE it and it’s probably what I would’ve picked but I didn’t get to pick it since it was based off the nickname my MIL gave him). He supports where/when he can we’ve both just got a lot on our plates. He’s trying his best. 🤍
Edit #3: we currently live with his family while we finish building our house so we can’t do LC/NC and that’s how she knows when the appointments are. We should be done by the time the baby is here though
Edit #4: I have in my birth plan to not let MIL in the delivery room and to keep her out till we say we are ready. I have messaged my OB and all of his nurses know to take her out of the room during any exams. The one that she looked during was at the end of the first trimester/early second trimester. I haven’t had any exams since but now that I’m in the third trimester I’m going to start having weekly checks and she will not be in the office for them. Also the amount of people I have on my side exclusively isn’t enough to warrant a separate event. The list I gave her had EVERYONE we both wanted there which was everyone who was at our wedding (about 25) and we told her that’s ALL we wanted there since neither of us are super keen on big parties or lots of people. It wasn’t just people my husband and her wanted that she invited. It was people that my husband had to sit and think of how he might know them that she invited.