Oh, dear readers, gather ’round as I, your fearless scribe Roger of HotTakes, delve into a Reddit tale so twisted it makes the Lannisters look like the Brady Bunch. Yes, it’s a real story from a real person, rife with drama, deceit, and a dash of workplace scandal. So, buckle up, buttercup, because you’re in for a bumpy ride down family dysfunction lane.
Our protagonist, a noble soul burdened with the care of their grandparents, followed their late grandmother’s wish to a T for a perfect final send-off, only to discover that the plot, much like a casket, thickens. No family showed up to the funeral they meticulously planned. Why, you ask? Because, dear readers, there was another funeral – a rival funeral, if you will, orchestrated by none other than their estranged mother, who’d been previously booted for nefarious deeds. The audacity!
But wait, there’s more! Our valiant hero confronts this mock-mourning assembly, unveiling truths amidst tears and righteous indignation. The revelation? The caregiver had been riding solo on this eldercare rollercoaster while family members concocted sob stories to siphon funds and skip work. The drama doesn’t end at the grave, folks.
As the dust settles (or so we thought), the fallout begins. Jobs lost, lawsuits launched, and the ugly truth of familial betrayal comes to light. Our protagonist, who once provided care with unwavering dedication, now stands amidst the wreckage of relationships and a family business under siege.
So, dear readers, as we reach the end of this sordid saga, it’s time for Roger’s Hot Take, you’ve been patiently waiting for: Is our protagonist the asshole? Absolutely not! They’re the hero of this Greek tragedy, a beacon of truth in a sea of lies. Showing up those who exploited the memory of their loved ones for personal gain? That’s not just acceptable; it’s commendable.
But let’s not miss the forest for the trees here. This story isn’t just about calling out the bad apples in the family tree, it’s a stark reminder of the importance of communication, compassion, and, perhaps, a well-vetted family therapist. In a world where familial bonds can be as fragile as they are strong, our protagonist stands tall, a survivor of the ultimate test of kinship.
And to those who ended up on the wrong side of this debacle? Let’s just say, karma has a special way of RSVPing to the parties we least expect. So, here’s to our unsung hero, who, through the mire of deceit and dysfunction, remained steadfast and true. May your future be free of faux funerals and full of genuine joy.
Roger out.
Original story
My grandparents passed away recently. I followed the guidelines my grandma set up for her final event. Her Church, her burial plot, her casket and the same for my grandpa. I just didn’t expect for it to be a joint funeral. I sent out the notifications to friends of theirs and family after the date was set in stone. Their friends all came, so did most of my grandma’s church but no family showed up. I wasn’t surprised, I hadn’t seen most of them in about 4 years.
I had a great time with my grandparents friends and then I went back home and cried my heart out. I had been their sole caregiver and I didn’t know what to do without them. I had taken care of them for 15 years. It started with little things like lifting heavy things and escalated to needing to change the bed twice a night sometimes. I was empty and started to scroll through my grandpa’s facebook to see pictures he posted before his memory went..
I found a group, started about 3 years ago that was being flooded with activity. When I went poking around I found out it was my mother who was hosting a funeral at her church and was ‘trying to get final expenses taken care of.’ I was stunned. Here was the woman I hadn’t spoken to since throwing her out of the house for stealing jewelry and upsetting grandma terribly by using her Alzheimer’s against her. ‘How could you forget my birthday! You promised to give me this!’
I went to the funeral my mother had planned and listened to the pastor and then my mother got up to talk. She told everyone how hard it was taking care of them and something inside me roared to life. I don’t remember everything I said, but it did include that she didn’t pay for anything for them, not their caskets, not their burial plots, not their cremation, nothing. I told everyone I put them to rest at the funeral grandma planned herself 4 days prior. I said she’d never paid for any of their care or even seen them for 4 years.
I was asked to leave and drove home. Later, a cousin asked me if what I said was true and when I said it was and I could provide proof, they explained my mother had been taking funds from the family for years to pay for their care at a facility because they had outlived their insurance policy. They also explained I got a lot of people in trouble because somewhere in the speech I shouted I had done it all alone for years without any help. A lot of family members used my grandparents as an excuse to get out of work and had invited their coworkers to the funeral. By hearing my outburst they were now in trouble for lying as for the reasons to leave work or miss days.
She then went on to ask me about the inheritance and when that would be passed out. I told her that if anyone had earned the inheritance it had already been taken care of. I thought I was in the right, but now I’m doubting myself after so many cousins and family members are calling to tell me I handled it really poorly.
AITA? Did I handle this badly? Everyone’s telling me I did.
Update: Thank you all. I felt I was the asshole because of how badly I reacted at the memorial service my mother held. It was very far out of character for me. I am usually very quiet and I don’t talk too often, much like my grandpa. I screamed at them, I cried, I waved my arms and made an absolute spectacle of my grief. I feel so embarrassed by how I argued and carried on. Several family members are asking questions and seem genuinely bewildered by the circumstances.
This happened on Sunday and it’s Friday now, I am still feeling as lost as I did at first. One of my uncle’s did lose his job, that was confirmed earlier. He had multiple schemes going on at his workplace with a need for a medical lift bed for grandma and got his coworkers to donate around 8k in total. The gossip queens that attended the funeral told everyone Monday morning and by Monday afternoon he was in trouble with HR. This wasn’t the only way he tried to earn funds, there are at least two others I know about from his son.
His son, my cousin, is furious with his dad and my mom. He and several other cousins of mine are suing my mother for taking funds from them. They thought they were helping pay for 24 hour care at an assisted living facilities. Every month my mother was collecting between 2,000 and 9,000 from family members. She would lament to them how hard and soul crushing it was to see such strong people just staring vacantly off into space, how they were unresponsive but this wasn’t true.
My cousins apologized for not reaching out to me, but I’m not very close with anyone in my family. Some of you guessed it in the DM’s but yeah, I was an affair baby. I came out ‘wrong’ and my mother’s husband divorced her over it. The people I was closest to growing up were my grandparents. It’s bad enough that some of the cousins forgot I was a family member at all. It’s a huge mess, they’re apologizing but I just don’t want anything to do with them.
Grandpa’s business is not worth millions, but it pays the bills. It’s a handyman company. My family is asking about the company, how everything is going there and I’m putting up a stony face. It’s not the family business, it’s mine and it has been for years. All of the employees respect me because I treat them the same way grandpa did. I do still mess up some things that they tease me for. It’s a very friendly place to work.
One of grandpa’s properties is just a fenced in yard with covered storage for the different projects. It’s right next to the business property and is just where we work on remodeling old RV’s or turning vans into RV’s. We have a few friends parked there too but it’s just a dirt lot with gravel, a fence and a cover. There are some security cameras there and so far no issues.
I thought I would give an overall update and just thank you all for the support. I’ve felt so lost and I really did think I was TA for exposing them. Jobs are important and hard to come by out here and it’s not just going to affect them. It’s going to affect their partners, their children and even their pets. I feel most guilty about who else exposing them affected. Thank you, I really didn’t expect this to blow up like it did. I’m going to keep reading and responding to comments. Thank you all again, this has been so incredible. I was never ‘supposed’ to be angry about anything, but seeing all the comments cussing out my family has been more cathartic than I can express. Thank you.