Oh, sweet readers, gather ’round, for I have a tale that weaves through the hallowed halls of elementary nostalgia, past friendships long faded, and the wedding invite that reignited flames of a bygone playground drama. Yes, my dears, this isn’t merely a recount of social faux pas; it’s a saga that stretches back to the days of juice boxes and recess. Who among us could resist such a story? Brought to us by a real person on Reddit, this narrative has everything: unrequited love, wedding woes, and a plus-one predicament that would make even Jane Austen reach for her quill. Let’s dive in, shall we? Roger’s here to serve you the hottest of takes, piping fresh and perfectly spiced. 🐸☕️
Our protagonist, a 24-year-old lady, finds herself in a pickle upon receiving a wedding invite from Mary, a friend since the 3rd grade. With memories of friendship bracelets and shared secrets, how could our heroine not look forward to celebrating such a joyous occasion? Enter the plus-one option—an open invitation to bring along a guest. After a brief consideration, Leah, also a friend from their younger days, is bestowed the honor. But, uh-oh, plot twist! Lisa, another remnant from their elementary school days, enters stage left, drenched in a perfume of disappointment and longing.
Lisa, hearing of the wedding through the grapevine, is taken aback that our protagonist got invited but even more so that she wasn’t the chosen plus-one. Instead of joy for the upcoming nuptials, Lisa is steeped in the sour grapes of being overlooked both by the bride and in the plus-one selection. She reminisces about her childhood crush on Nati, the groom, weaving a narrative of what-could-have-beens and almost-weres that stirs the pot of drama to a boiling point. Lisa’s reaction when learning Leah is the chosen plus-one? A concoction of disbelief, dismay, and a dash of bitterness, arguing she should have been the obvious choice given her “close” connection to the couple—a claim as thin as cafeteria pizza.
Our protagonist, caught between an invitation and a hard place, defends her choice. But Lisa? She’s not having it. With accusations flying like dodgeballs in gym class, she claims our protagonist is conspiring with Mary to keep her from the wedding, alleging ancient elementary animosities are at play. Cue the dramatic revelation that Mary “stole” Nati from Lisa in a Shakespearean twist that would leave Romeo and Juliet gasping.
As our protagonist navigates this maze of accusations, denials, and the ever-elusive screenshots of purported evidence, we’re left munching on the popcorn of intrigue, eagerly awaiting the next act. Lisa’s tales hold more twists than a spiral notebook, leaving everyone in a state of befuddled anticipation. Will the screenshots materialize, providing the smoking gun of this juvenile justice case? Or will they vanish like a chalk drawing in the rain, leaving us to ponder the mysteries of elementary eternities?
**Roger’s Hot Take**:
Darlings, as we stand amid the debris of this elementary escapade turned wedding wonderland woefulness, let’s not miss the forest for the crayon trees. Weddings, those bastions of bliss and bouquets, have become battlegrounds for bygone beefs. Our protagonist is no villain here; she’s merely a guest caught in the crossfire of childhood crushes and grown-up grudges. Lisa, with her heart worn on her sleeve and perhaps still taped together from third grade, serves as a cautionary tale of clinging too tightly to the past.
The true takeaway? Let the wedding bells ring free from the clutches of yesterday’s playground politics. After all, if we can’t look back on our elementary escapades and laugh, then we’re just adults sipping juice boxes in suits and dresses, wondering where the magic of the merry-go-round went. So here’s to moving on, growing up, and maybe, just maybe, finding a bit of that joy in the here and now—even if it means not getting that coveted wedding invite.
Remember, my dears, in the grand tapestry of life, sometimes you’re the plus-one, and sometimes you’re just plus-none. And that’s perfectly okay. Until next time, keep your tea hot and your takes hotter. Roger out. 💋🔥
Original story
I, (24F) recently got invited to my friend’s wedding. The bride (24F, Mary) and I met when we were in the 3rd grade. She and I were in the same class so we naturally started a friendship. We went through the rest of elementary school and middle school as friends, but grew apart in high school when she moved to another city. We still kept in touch though. Mary’s husband to be is her elementary school crush Nati (24M) who I also used to be friends with.
I filled out the RSVP card when I got the invitation and saw I was allowed a plus one. I asked my best friend (24F, Leah) if she would want to be my plus one, since she knew the groom and was once friends with him. She agreed and I wrote her in as my plus one and sent the RSVP back. Yesterday I met up with my friend (24F, Lisa) who also went to elementary school with me, and I mentioned that Mary and Nati were getting married.
She said she saw Mary post the proposal and was so happy for them. I then said that the wedding was going to be in the fall and that I couldn’t wait to see them. She kind of paused then asked “you got invited?” I was confused on why she was so surprised, but I said yeah and shrugged it off. She said it was nice of them to invite me, then started talking about how she used to have a huge crush on Nati and how they “almost went out”.
The crush part was true, but they never almost dated. Lisa used to say that her biggest mistake in school was not telling Nati about her feelings. Nati was a super sweet guy and not too bad looking so I understand where her regret was coming from, but it was weird she was bringing it up now. I changed the subject and we dropped the topic. But a while later, she asked if I had a plus one. I told her I invited Leah and she said “Are you serious? She doesn’t even know them.”
I pointed out how that wasn’t true and that Leah and Nati were friends in middle school, and how they also bumped into each other a few times in college. She said that’s different and that she wasn’t close with them like she was. All throughout elementary and middle school Lisa never actively hung out with either of them in or outside of school. Just knew them because of association. I asked her when they got so close and she couldn’t answer me because of “how long ago it happened”, but I already knew she was lying.
I told her I already RSVP’d and that I would be willing to pass along something at the wedding if she wanted me to. She said no and that I should have asked her first to be my plus one, and that Mary was rude for not inviting her even though we all went to the same elementary school. I said that Mary wasn’t obligated to invite everyone she went to elementary school with to her wedding. Then she got upset saying I was taking Mary’s side and that I was an ass for not including her as my plus one even though she really wanted to go. I couldn’t handle her anymore and left.
AITA here?
Edit/update: Lisa sent me a huge paragraph. I think she’s actually crazy. To sum it up, she apologized to me then said that she tried to confess to Nati in high school after getting encouragement from Mary, only for her to “steal” him before she (Lisa) could because she (Mary) didn’t want anyone else to have him. Lisa supposedly got into an argument with Mary afterwards over text where Mary proceeded to say that she didn’t actually want to be my friend. Lisa is claiming that the reason she wasn’t invited to the wedding is because Mary is still feeling petty about the situation and doesn’t want Lisa there in case she exposes her. I don’t even know what to say to this it sounds so made up. Lisa claims she has screenshots of the original texts and I just asked for them. I’ll make another update if/when I get them.