Pain, Perseverance, and Partnerships: The Tumultuous Tale of Tenderness

Ah, lovebirds in distress! Brace yourselves, dear readers, for I bring to you a tale so fraught with melodrama and marital misgivings that it could very well serve as the blueprint for a modern Shakespearean play. This is Roger, from HotTakes, where we dissect the curious cases of human antics with the finesse of a gossip columnist armed with a psychology degree. Today’s juicy nugget of narrative is a real Reddit story from a real person, beckoning us into the domestic domain of our protagonist, let’s call him ‘Gym Hero’, and his damsel in distress, ‘Lady Laura’. Sit tight, as this ride might just whisk you away into realms of incredulity and back. But fear not, for Roger’s Hot Take awaits at the end, promising enlightenment or, at the very least, a hearty chuckle. 

Gym Hero, a man of 34 summers, ushers his life companion, 32-year-old Lady Laura, to the iron temple where bodies are sculpted, and apparently, fingers are imperiled. A scratch, no more menacing than a scribe’s quill, embarks on a saga of suffering for Lady Laura, leading her noble knight to the brink of despair and, frankly, irritation. A scene unfolds that could rival any soap opera climax – a tragic finger cut, hydrogen peroxide’s feared bubbles, and the near collapse of our troubled heroine.

The stoic Gym Hero, amidst the cacophony of tears and the lament of the wounded, ventures into a soliloquy on resilience and inner fortitude. A monologue, perhaps well-intentioned, yet delivered with the grace of a bull in a china shop, it cuts deeper than the physical wound itself. He visions their future progeny and shudders at the thought of his beloved Lady Laura, grappling with childbirth or, heaven forbid, navigating through life’s adversities sans his chivalrous support.

An argument ensues, as theatrical as their love story, leaving Gym Hero to ponder his assery (pardon the non-Shakespearean term). Yet, the plot thickens with amendments and introspections, casting our Gym Hero in a rather favorable light – a soulmate, a seeker of medical wisdom, albeit with an old-fashioned streak. 

Now, let’s pause here for a moment. Pour yourself a glass of the finest boxed wine, and lean in closer. Our dear couple, it seems, is entangled in a web spun from threads of communication faux pas, traditional bravado, and a potentially overlooked medical anomaly. Gym Hero, with his heart in the right place, albeit his foot in his mouth, steers the ship through choppy waters of marriage, navigating the complexities of pain – both physical and emotional. 

Here’s where Roger’s Hot Take ascends from the depths, my eager audience. Marriage, my dear Watsons, is not only about surviving the storms but dancing in the rain. Gym Hero’s fervent approach, albeit pragmatic, was akin to using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Lady Laura’s susceptibility to pain, shrouded in what appears to be a theatrical cloak, might just be the cry of an underlying condition, yearning for the spotlight of empathy and medical inquiry, rather than the shadows of skepticism.

Our tale, dear readers, is not merely a anecdotal tidbit for our amusement. It unfolds the layers of partnership that demand more than love – a cocktail of understanding, patience, and a dash of medical advice from someone other than Dr. Google.

In the echoing halls of Reddit and beyond, let us take from this story a lesson wrapped in a cautionary tale – to listen, truly listen, to our partners, to embrace their fears and discomforts not with judgment but with open arms and open minds. For every princess with a pea, there’s a lesson in empathy awaiting its knight in shining armor.

Thank you for sticking till the end, dear voyeurs of virtuous vernacular. Your sage of sass, Roger, bids you adieu, till our next tale of tantalizing truths and temperamental tête-à-têtes.

Original story

My wife (32F) and I (34M) went to the gym yesterday morning and at some point my wife (will call her Laura) scratched her finger on something.

Laura has a history of being selectively sensitive to pain and discomfort. She is a strong and capable woman that I love, but if it’s 80 degrees with a breeze, Laura will talk herself into it being too cold to stay outside. The joke between us is she is like the princess and the pea story. These things happen often.

I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say this time the “cut” was less than half a centimeter wide and 2mm across, just surface level, no larger than a paper cut. Later that night she remembered the cut and had what I would describe as a meltdown. She said her finger pain was throbbing, she was feeling nauseous from the pain and said it was becoming too much.

I offered to clean it with hydrogen peroxide, but she said it would hurt too much. I said it bubbles but doesn’t burn like alcohol and you need to clean it if you cut it on gym equipment because it’s dirty. As soon as I put a few drops of hydrogen peroxide on it she collapsed to her knees and said she could not continue. I admit I got a little upset at the theatrics. But it was nothing new at this point.

Then after I rinsed the wound in the sink (she is still on her knees crying), I told her I was going to get neosporin and a bandaid to which she begged me not to add neosporin because it would hurt. I explained to Laura that neosporin actually would cause no pain and even add potential relief. She yelled when I put it on and nearly fainted.

At this point I was a little upset and potentially the asshole. I tried to explain to Laura that her body was very resilient and she is a tough person because I’ve seen it in our workouts and the way she can work through brutal work challenges and environments. However, she needs to work on her psychological hang up on discomfort like this.

We want to have kids in next 2 years and in all honesty I don’t think she can handle childbirth right now. I said it’s something we can work on together, but to start, she needs to get serious and adopt the mentality that her body can handle a lot! I told her it’s upsetting that she seems to just give up and surrender to any pain like she has no will to shake it off. “What example would we be setting for our child?” “What would happen if you were injured and needed to get help without me?”

We ended up getting into an argument about this, I feel like an asshole, but I don’t know how I could have approached this differently.

EDIT/CONTEXT:

First, I would like to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and suggestions.

Second, I would like to clarify that I am one of those lucky few that married someone they consider their soul mate. Despite my comments coming across as callous and patronizing, I love and care for my wife tremendously and I don’t believe she sees it that way. However, I’m here for that outside perspective. I’ll be with my wife until I’m dead or she finds someone better! (Even if that means carrying her around for the next 80 years)

Lastly, while we have visited doctors in the past, WE may not have placed enough value on getting another opinion. That is something I will bring up with my wife again. I do not typically hold an opinion when it comes to my wife’s medical care. I believe I may have an old fashioned approach to doctors as I have had some bad experiences with misdiagnosis and over prescribed treatments. My attitude when it comes to my wife has always been to get the care that she thinks she needs as I cannot make that decision for her. We both acknowledge there are differences in the way we pursue medical care. I have never suggested her symptoms or desire to meet with a doctor were
not legitimate. When she had not gotten to a diagnosis from doctors and they suggested treating it like it was nervousness or anxiety we both kind of considered it psychological, a pain in the ass, but not overly serious and something we could work on. As my post here would suggest, that is easier said than done. It’s a huge grey area trying to figure out if you are being too controlling or if you are enabling.

My wife does not have red hair.

TIL: Hydrogen Peroxide is no longer recommended for cleaning wounds.