Oh, darling readers, buckle up your seat belts and prepare for a tale that will make your in-laws seem like absolute cherubs. This is a real Reddit story, coming from a real person, who has found themselves in the kind of wedding planning predicament that Lifetime movies are made of. Sit tight, for you’re about to dive into a story so juicy, it’ll make your latest TikTok scroll look like child’s play. Welcome to *Roger’s Hot Take* on whether banning your future MIL from the bridal suite makes you the bridezilla… or just a damsel trying to avoid distress on her wedding day.
Imagine, dear readers, a relationship so sweet between a girl and her future MIL that it could give you cavities. Sleepovers, errand runs, the kind of bond most would sell their wedding cake for. Enter, stage left: an engagement ring. And not just any ring, but one that seemingly possessed the power to turn our sweet, errand-running MIL, let’s call her Barbra, into a scene-stealing, spotlight-grabbing villainess straight out of a Shakespearian tragedy.
Our bride-to-be, amidst the chaos of wedding planning, finds herself in a love story not just with her fiancé, Derek, but with a tornado of narcissism that is her future MIL. Picture this: backyard rehearsal dinner plans sparked an eruption from Barbra akin to a toddler denied candy. Reasons? Oh, trivial matters, like the venue being at Derek’s dad’s house, leading to a weekend filled with tears, tantrums, and the kind of emotional torment that could give therapists a run for their money.
Fast forward to the bridal shower – a scene set for reconciliation, perhaps? Alas, not in this drama. Barbra, in a move so petty it could rival Regina George, begins a subtle war of place settings, isolating Derek’s stepmom and attacking anyone who dares to shine brighter than her, including our damsel’s aunt, cousin, and the sweet as pie stepmom who leaves in tears. If wedding showers are meant to sprinkle happiness, Barbra was clearly armed with a firehose of spite.
With each event leading up to the wedding tarnished by Barbra’s vendettas, our bride’s quandary becomes clear: to invite or not invite this mother of mayhem into the sanctity of the bridal suite on the big day? A place where mimosas should flow, not tears. Where laughter should fill the air, not screams of indignation.
Before I lay down *Roger’s Hot Take*, let’s take a moment to appreciate Derek – a knight in shining armour, defending his bride against the dragonish whims of his own mother. Yet, alas, his valor does little to pierce the thick hide of Barbra’s narcissism.
So, here it is, the moment you’ve been scrolling for: *Roger’s Hot Take*. Not only would our bride NOT be the asshole for banning Barbra from the bridal suite, but I’d say she’d be fully justified in launching a full-scale banishment from the entire wedding festivities. Love, my dears, should not be a battlefield, especially not on a day meant to celebrate it. Our bride deserves to sip her pre-wedding champagne in peace, surrounded by those who bring joy, not jitters of the worst kind.
In closing, let this tale be a cautionary one. A wedding, while a day of joy, is not an all-access pass for toxicity. It’s a day to celebrate love, unity, and the start of a new chapter. And if that means creating a guest list that’s more VIP than inclusive, then so be it. Put on your bridal gown, adjust your tiara, and march down that aisle with the confidence of a queen who knows the worth of her peace on her wedding day.
Until next time, dear readers, keep those takes hot and your bridal suites drama-free. *Roger out.*
Original story
throwaway account because she’s crazy I (26F) and my fiancé (27M) are getting married in under a month. To say our wedding planning has been less than ideal is quite the understatement. My soon to be MIL, let’s call her Barbra, has made the last year of my life a living hell. My fiancé, Derek, and I have been together for 3 years, engaged for just over one year. When Derek and I first started dating I had an incredible relationship with Barbra. We would hang out, run errands, have sleepovers.. we had a relationship most girls dream of having with their future MIL. That all changed when this pretty little ring slipped on my finger…
For some context, Barbra has an extremely volatile relationship with her ex husband (Derek’s dad) and his wife (Derek’s step mom). Their history stems back 20+ years and has been an ever present issue in Derek’s every day life. Barbra made it her mission for Derek to despise his father and step mother the way she did, totally unnecessary behavior.
Fast forward to this past year. Take a narcissistic future MIL and a people pleasing bride, then add a wedding and this is where you end up.
Around 8 months ago, my fiancé and I decided we wanted to have a backyard rehearsal dinner with food trucks, a bonfire, games- totally our style. We figured we didn’t need to big fancy dinners back to back. Derek’s dad’s house is a no-brainer perfect spot for something like this. Far back off of any road, tons of land, a pool. Not to mention; it’s his DAD’s house. Well when I brought this idea up to Barbra (we were 2.5 hours out of town for the weekend just me and her) she LOST. HER. SHIT. Screaming, crying, stomping her feet… It was like trying to communicate with a toddler who missed their nap. All because it was going to be at Derek’s dad’s house. Basically “everyone is going to think -stepmom- is the mother of the groom instead of me!” on and on, screaming history over 20 years old at me as a justification. I was extremely uncomfortable to say the least, considering I’d never seen this behavior from her. I cried myself to sleep every night that weekend, I felt pathetic and defeated. It went on like that all weekend little digs here and there. by the time I finally got home I broke down crying over how I was spoken to and treated. I mean the woman screamed in my face, as if I was her six-year-old child.
Between then and this past weekend, there has been little digs, constant attitude, and random spiteful acts that let met know she never let go of that weekend because I came home and told Derek, who in turn flipped out on her.
this past weekend was my bridal shower. I grew up about six hours away from where I currently live, which is Derek‘s hometown. Everyone including Barbara and Derek stepmom traveled to be at the shower. I knew it wouldn’t be good when I invited. Barbara and her response was “well I guess if stepmother is going I have to go don’t I?”
Not not only did she begin moving place settings away from stepmother’s table to the point where stepmother was left alone at a table, she told my maid of honor that the only reason my MOH felt the need to sit at my table was “to be the center of attention.” Completely disregarding that I specifically asked to sit with her and the rest of my bridesmaids, considering I don’t live near any of them anymore, and we never get to see each other. Then she tried to kick my aunt and cousin out of her table because it was “the mom table “, only stopped when my mom told her she was staying. She rolled her eyes at my gifts I opened from derek’s step mom. She was also dissing derek’s step mom to every person she spoke to, to the point where 10+ people came to me after the shower telling me how uncomfortable she made them. Derek’s step mom is the sweetest woman ever and she left the shower crying.
There were several other behaviors, but this post would be far too long (it already is). When Derek got home and called her out, she absolutely lost it. Now she is blowing up our phones, saying she is ashamed of Derek and I, and told Derek to “have fun with his new family.” So many nasty remarks a mother should never say to their son. She did her usual playing the victim, “how dare we”, and blaming her behavior on every other person. Zero accountability.
at this point, she has ruined every single event relating to my wedding that I’ve had. She hosted my bachelorette (ruined it by being mean to all of my friends, throwing a gift derek’s step mom made for her across the room in front of everyone while cursing about how stupid and ugly it was) , she came with me to pick up my wedding dress (insisted on getting the one she loved that i hated, told me she didn’t care for the one i got), and she shits all over any idea I present to her. Every time I call my parents. I’m crying over something new that she said to intentionally hurt me or disrupt our planning.
Would I be the asshole if I didn’t allow her to get ready on the bridal suite on the day of? I’m honestly scared for how she act in there now that she thinks “everyone is against her. “ I would prefer for her to not even come to the wedding at all but I’ll let Derek make that call.
Edit: I want to say that Derek has defended me in a way that has made me fall even more in love with him. He’s been stern and harsh, telling her exactly how it is without faltering. The issue is this goes right over her head. I’m feeling like this will only stop if it comes from me.