Hello, darling readers! It’s your favorite sassy sage, Roger, coming at you from the wild world of HotTakes, where no topic is too hot to handle and no drama is too spicy to dissect. Today, I’ve stumbled upon a real-life Reddit saga that screams ‘modern-day Romeo and Juliet,’ if Romeo was obsessed with gender reveal parties and Juliet just wanted some peace and quiet. Let’s dive into this rollercoaster of emotions, shall we?
Picture this: a young, pregnant woman, on the cusp of motherhood, finds herself embroiled in a battle over whether or not to throw a gender reveal party. Now, for those of you living under a rock (no judgment, darling, it’s cozy under there), a gender reveal party is where expectant parents announce the sex of their unborn child in the most Instagram-worthy way possible. Think balloons, confetti, and, in some tragic cases, uncontrollable wildfires. But I digress.
Our heroine, seeking only the health and happiness of her baby, initially couldn’t care less about the baby’s gender. Yet, seduced by the siren call of social media and the persistent pleas of her boyfriend, she finds herself pondering a petite party. But oh, dear readers, like a cake left out in the rain, her simple dreams of a small barbecue morph into a full-blown bash at her boyfriend’s grandmother’s house, complete with decorations, a horde of guests, and enough meat to make a vegan weep.
Cue the dramatic tears and arguments. Our leading lady didn’t want a big party. Our leading man couldn’t comprehend her reluctance. Miscommunication ensued, turning what should have been a moment of joy into a battleground. She wanted simplicity; he wanted spectacle.
In the midst of the mayhem, our heroine stands her ground, insisting that if she must endure this party, it shall be on her own turf, in the sanctuary of her comfort zone. Alas, her plea falls on deaf ears, leading her to contemplate boycotting her own gender reveal. Can you imagine?
Now, dear hearts, here comes Roger’s Hot Take: Sprinkles are for winners, and compromise is the icing on the cake of love. This tale isn’t just about a party; it’s about listening, understanding, and respecting your partner’s wishes. Our expectant mother, bless her, tried to accommodate her beau’s desires, only to find her own swept under the proverbial rug.
In relationships, communication is key, but so is accepting that ‘no means no,’ even if it’s about the size of a party. A gender reveal should be about celebrating the life you’re bringing into the world, not stressing over party favors and guest lists. In this case, less could have truly been more.
To the exhausted woman at the heart of this saga: your feelings are valid. To the clueless boyfriend: sometimes, love means listening and adjusting your sails. And to all the party planners out there: remember, when it comes to expectant mothers, sometimes the best party is no party at all.
And there you have it, folks, straight from the keyboard of your audacious arbiter, Roger. Until next time, stay sassy, stay classy, and never, ever let anyone tell you a small barbecue isn’t special enough. Tata!
Original story
I (20f) am about 5 months pregnant with my first baby. Since the beginning of the pregnancy everyone’s been asking me if I’m having a girl or a boy and, when I’m going to find out the gender of the baby. I honestly don’t care what my baby’s gender is, I just want a healthy baby.
Well the topic of a gender reveal came up a few months back. I honestly don’t remember how. It was a while ago. I figured a gender reveal isn’t as big a deal as a baby shower so it could just be a small thing.
I began to make a very small guest list of both our families, in my phone. Then I called my boyfriend (20m) to ask if there was any one of his family I had missed. He asked me to write down several of his friends and their families. I finished making the list and just left it at that.
As time went by it kinda started to feel like we weren’t going to do anything, and when people asked about the gender reveal I just told them we didn’t know what we were doing yet.
A came across a TikTok where a couple cut open a cake with wine glasses to find out the gender, and thought it was really cute. I brought this idea up to him at least 3 – 5 times, all on separate occasions. He always responded with “but what about the party” or “but I wanted to do something special for our first kid” or just didn’t take me seriously.
I saw how excited he was about having some sort of gender reveal so I told him “why don’t we just do a small barbecue” He was happy with the idea. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Yesterday morning my mom sent me a link to a clinic that does 3D ultrasounds. She told me to make an appointment and she would pay for it so we could see our baby and determine the gender so she can start buying the bigger things accordingly. I mentioned to her how we didn’t want to see the gender because we were going to have a little barbecue to reveal the gender. She said I didn’t have to see the gender of the baby but she wasn’t waiting any longer because we need several things for the baby. I asked her if we could have the barbecue at the house and she said that was fine as long as we bought the meat and decorations.
I let my boyfriend know that we had an appointment for a 3D ultrasound on Friday and that we could use the house for the barbecue.
Later in the day he FaceTimed me saying that he had it all planed out. Someone from his family would be buying the meat, one of his mom’s cousins would be decorating and we’d be having it at his grandmas house, so there’d be enough space for everyone. I was overwhelmed immediately but I didn’t really get a chance to say anything because I had his mom asking me what decorations I liked so that she could tell her cousin.
When I finally got the chance to say something I started crying and we started arguing. I explained through back and forth, screams and tears that I didn’t want a big party. He seemed confused and asked what I meant. I told him that I had mentioned several times what I wanted, and he asked why I didn’t tell him how serious I was being. I asked what implications he got that I wasn’t being serious. He said “because you kept agreeing to a party” I responded with saying that I didn’t want to let him down because he seemed so excited about it, but I never wanted a big party.
He came over and we continued to argue. He kept insisting that I had been fine with the idea this whole time and that I would be fine throughout the event. I kept insisting that I didn’t want a big party. I was only ever ok with it because he was excited about it. I told him how I didn’t want to be around that many people and on top of that we weren’t even having it at my house so I wouldn’t be comfortable.
Then that became the center of the argument. He asked, what’s wrong with his grandmas house. I mentioned that wasn’t the point but if I had to endure a party that I didn’t want, why couldn’t we at least compromise and have it at my house where I could be comfortable.
He said he was trying to compromise by mentioning he would stay by my side the whole time and I could have my own little corner to be at, and eat food, so I wouldn’t have to be around everyone. I mentioned that, that’s not a compromise, just him trying for me to be ok with something I’m not. I’m also 100% sure that I would not be left alone in my own corner.
I was fed up so I told him to go ahead and have the gender reveal the way he wants it, and the exact opposite of how I want it and I’d see if I felt like showing up. He said I had to be there because the party was for us. I told him that party was not for me or for my baby because it’s not what I want and it was for him and everybody else in attendance.
He got mad and left my house. He later called me and told me he called it all of and and we could just do what I wanted and that it wasn’t that big a deal, but also mentioned that he just didn’t understand what was so bad about having a party for our baby. So I know he’s still upset and disappointed, and I’m annoyed that we had to go through so much stress and arguing over a stupid party. I honestly feel drained and a bit guilty that he didn’t get what he wanted because he was so excited. But I also don’t understand why it’s so hard for him to just take my feelings into account and try to compromise with me accordingly.
I’m tired of things always being 0 to 100. Either completely one way or another. Why is it so hard to just meet in the middle. It’s honestly exhausting and I don’t know how to make it any better. Please share your thoughts on this.
Edit: to everyone telling me that I should of just gone through with it because I didn’t have to do anything any just “ show up and enjoy myself”. I would not have enjoyed myself. I do not like big parties. I do not like being the center of attention. And we already agreed on having a big baby shower. I don’t want to have another big party for the gender reveal. Two big parties is too much for me.
Edit2: for those of you concerned because things we cancelled. Nothing was purchased or set up in any way. My boyfriend had just, had agreement with certain people to do certain things but nothing had been done yet