Darlings, gather ’round because I’ve stumbled upon a tale so heart-wrenching and filled with emotional contradictions that it’s bound to stir up a storm in your teacup. Before you clip-clop your way through this modern-day dilemma, let me set the stage: this is a real Reddit story from a real person, diving headfirst into the murky waters of pregnancy, matrimonial priorities, and the age-old debate of choosing between a partner and a child. So buckle up, beauties, because Roger’s Hot Take is about to serve up some piping hot food for thought.
Imagine, if you will, a love story turned sour by a conversation gone awry in a newly-minted nursery. A soon-to-be mom, six months pregnant and bubble-wrapped in hormones, finds herself facing the unthinkable. Her darling husband, in a moment of vulnerability, declares that should the stork turn grim reaper and force a choice between wife and soon-to-be-offspring, he’d save their bundle of joy. Cue the horror music and close-up on our protagonist’s aghast expression.
But wait, there’s more. Despite her own willingness to sacrifice everything for her child, Mama Bear can’t shake the feeling of being reduced to an incubator in her hubby’s eyes. A brewing storm of confusion, anger, and guilt swirls within her because, let’s be real, who wants to feel like yesterday’s jam when baby makes three?
Now, before you grab your pitchforks and torches, let’s acknowledge the labyrinthine nature of human emotions. Our leading lady isn’t immune to the pull of maternal instinct, nor is she blind to the love that still binds this little family together. But therein lies the rub: she craves the reassurance that she is more than a vessel for progeny, yearning for her partner to wrestle with the moral conundrum their hypothetical poses, much like she does.
Through her turmoil, she offers us a crystal clear window into the expectations placed on modern marriages and motherhood. Yes, she might be ready to play the martyr if push comes to shove, but heavens forbid if her other half doesn’t at least pretend to want to save her over the offspring they’ve yet to meet. Is it too much to ask for a little dramatic hand-wringing and soul-searching on his part?
Now, here comes Roger’s Hot Take, fresh out of the oven: While it’s easy to vilify the husband for his bone-chilling honesty, aren’t we missing the forest for the trees? Perhaps the real villain here isn’t the clumsy communication of a future dad wrestling with his fears but the societal pressure cooker that stewed up this mess in the first place. This tale isn’t just about a wife, a husband, and an unborn baby; it’s a mirror reflecting our collective anxieties about parenthood, partnership, and the invisible contracts we sign with those we love.
The moral of the story? Communication, darlings, is key—but so is understanding the unspoken hopes and fears that nestle in the heart of every relationship. Before we rush to judgement, let’s remember that the path to empathy starts with a willingness to see beyond our own perspective, to question not just the what, but the why behind the words that bind and sometimes divide us. So, as you tuck yourself in tonight, consider this: in the grand tapestry of love and life, are we listening, truly listening, to the silent symphonies of our partners’ souls?
Until next time, keep those hearts wide open and those minds even wider. Roger out.
Original story
Reddit, this isn’t me tricking my husband to answer a question which always has the wrong answer. My husband is a good man and we have a healthy relationship. I’m currently pregnant – 6 months in.
We never had any explicit discussion over who gets to live and who dies because it’s a stupid hypothetical and I don’t think it’s productive to ever have these debates.
Last night, while we were setting up our nursery, my husband got a bit emotional about us finally becoming parents. We were talking, and I was comforting him when he mentioned he hopes I have an easy childbirth. He said it would break his heart to lose me. I reassured him that I’m healthy and everything will be fine. He said that sacrificing my life for our baby is the most selfless thing a mother can do. I joked about not wanting to be in that situation and didn’t want to think about it.
“Of course I’d pick our baby over you – it’s how things are supposed to be and we are parents. Our child takes first priority in my life”
His words. I was horrified at how casually he said that and the matter-of-fact way he expressed himself. I felt uneasy and got upset, questioned him and he simply dismissed me and said that “there’s no debate about it”
I’m just at loss of words. I feel so confused and hurt at my husband’s thoughts. I feel like I should be happy that he would choose our baby’s life over me because that’s what I would do if it came down to me choosing whether I survive or this baby. I feel like I should be happy that we are on the same page, but I can’t. Because then I think how my husband is implying that all I am to him is an incubator for his child. Which also feels like a wrong way to think because he has loved me and still loves me so much. Maybe I’m just hormonal but I am just so angry and upset yet I know can’t say a thing it makes me feel I’ll explode.
I feel guilty too, for acting like I am jealous of our baby by having these thoughts in the first place. But I’m not jealous. I just feel that he should be able to put his spouse first.
Like does he not owe it to me to at least WANT to save me regardless of our decision because I’m his wife? He can’t get another me, can he? I’ll save my husband in a heartbeat if he was the one who was pregnant. Also we were not joking around, this was a normal conversation.
Also I GET IT, that our opinion and say in real life is immaterial because doctors try to save both. However it’s the principle of the matter, the kind of thought process my husband has that bothers me.
Why am I so upset about this? AITA?
CLARIFICATION
When I say I want to save the baby, but at the same time upset that he has the same thoughts too, it makes me extremely sad because despite my decision to sacrifice my life, I want him to think about me first. I wish for him to consider saving the baby only at my explicit request, but deep down, I hope he disagrees with that choice.
I want him to not casually dismiss the life of the person he made vows to, or state saving the baby over me as if it’s the obvious thing to do. I want him to feel conflicted, I want him to put me first.
I want him to love me so much, that he cannot fathom even sacrificing my life for our baby, even if it’s something I want.
EDIT: I am really disappointed with some people saying that if I ask stupid questions (totally missing the point of this post), I get stupid answers. I’m not even asking here, I just got told that my life doesn’t matter! Also, just because this is an unlikely hypothetical, it does not mean I don’t get to have unpleasant feelings around his morality and his decisions.
It’s not as straightforward as it seems.
While we both share the same viewpoint, there’s a subtlety to it. While I do want to prioritize the baby over myself, it doesn’t imply that I want my husband to casually dismiss my life. I hope he experiences some level of internal conflict regarding whom to choose and prioritizes me.
For instance, I am working late into the night without catching a break, I prioritize my work over rest, considering it crucial. In this situation, my husband, out of love, suggests that I take a break for my well-being, even though I resist at the moment. Despite eventually conceding to my choice, the underlying truth is that his love for me is evident in his disagreement with letting me feel tired, even if he respects my decision in the end. In this case, I’d be happy he disagrees with me and prefer that actually, even if I get to make the final choice here.
Ultimately, if the situation arises, I would directly tell him on what to do, but I desire him to disagree with that.